Sunday, January 05, 2014

choosing freedom... what's it mean




Good Morning Peeps!

And a frosty good morning at that… it is a charming 10 degrees F in my front yard… according to my thermometer… weather.com says 7 degrees… hey I’ll take the 3 degrees warmer… lol… looks like between one and 2 inches of snow…the birds are at the feeder now… thinking I’ll see if I can get some scraps to cook down into suet and mix a bit of grain into it and put it out there for them… may just buy a suet block… I don’t know yet… depends… this week is filling up pretty fast.

Yesterday was a strange day of ups and downs… got most of my workout in… oxycise and tai-cheng… did not make it through hip hop abs… I was totally thrilled that my weight was under 280 lbs…

In between phone calls, work about the place, a meeting, and working out yesterday I watched a movie that a friend recommended that I had not seen in years… there were a couple of lines in there that really struck a chord with me… and no these are probably not exact quotes…

One of the lines was: Live off the land… do your own thing… in your own time…

That actually sounds really good to me… involves a good bit of work… understatement of the year… lol… involves working with each other… a lot of give and take between folks… caring for each other… be a great way to live… actual community…

The other that really jumped out at me was: Talking about freedom and actually being free are two very different things.

Freedom can mean so very many different things… and has infinite variations within each person… it is so much a state of mind… a way of thinking… of being… of living…

Tony Robbins talks about freedom in Personal Power II… he doesn’t call it freedom… but that is what it is… Eckhart Tolle
… another one lighting the way to freedom… Jesus Christ talked about it … and showed the way to freedom… no I do not mean religion… religion and the way Christ lived are two totally different things…

Christ carried a message of love and freedom… and He lived that way…

Religion… no not so much… or rather not at all… from what I have seen “religion” has been used for control… to gain power over others (much like government in many cases) … for condemnation all the while spouting love and truth when in essence it has shown itself to be anything but loving and truthful… so much greed… greed for power… for control… and yes for money as well… in the name of One who is not about said things at all…

Crying out freedom of religion… freedom of religion… when what they actually mean is freedom to believe whatever “we” say whenever “we” say it… or you are free to be condemned and scorned… freedom to follow as slaves to whomever is in leadership positions… from the top echelons to the lower levels… “our” way is the only way… give us your love… give us your will… give us your choice… give us your money… give us your lives… or you are condemned… oh and by the way we love you that is why we condemn you…love us and do what we say or we will take that love away... for without our guidance you are worthless… of no value … to be cast out into oblivion…

Am I saying to lock the doors on all the churches… temples… synagogues… and alters… and walk away… no I am not… I am saying be awake… be aware …

Those that are true… they will appreciate and celebrate with you… those that are not… well… you know what they did to Christ… they are not going to like it… and there can be some really …. Well …. Hmmmmm… just eck… reactions… sometimes from folks you thought were your family and friends… or trusted leaders… (got a really strong eck reaction yesterday from someone who is not pleased with the changes in me … actually from a couple of people… kind of just… wow… some people seem to feed on grief and depression… and when you become stronger… more free… closer to happiness… wowzers… they are not happy campers… well ok then … thanks for showing me who you really are…)

No it is not just religion… religion is in the forefront of my mind because of what is happening to a friend of mine…. I am watching as the light that was burning bright within her is dimmed more and more as she is drawn deeper and deeper into spirit stifling mind numbing bondage… steeped in fear and condemnation… yes I tried to clang warning bells… but she can not hear me at this time… or chooses not to… saddens me to see her choosing this particular path… but it is her choice… and stepping away from things can be frightening… change… freedom… can be truly terrifying….

On the flip side… it can be amazingly exhilarating and fulfilling as well… strange how that works…

This has been a year of transitions… of personal evolution… growth… and some of it… has been excruciatingly painful… and absolutely terrifying…

Through this process… I am becoming aware… stepping towards freedom… sometimes covering my head and hiding for a while… only to peek out and inch forward again… it is a process to be sure…

I have three goals this year … in stepping towards freedom…

1. To be debt free: I realized I have been in debt since I graduated high school and started at university in 1978. Thirty six years I’ve been on this treadmill to feed the greed… enough already…
2. To be excess fat free: No, I do not mean a fat free diet… not! I mean I have stepped away from and am in the process of stepping away from toxic foods. Moving towards non-gmo, organic, whole foods, and in the process the fat is coming off and my body is becoming healthier…
3. To live free: so… what does that mean… to me it means to appreciate each moment… to actually allow myself to live it… allowing myself to be happy… an attitude of gratitude… rather than beating myself up over choices from the past… or fear of the future… to actually live… rather than exist… it also means I am stepping away from consumerism … that rat trap… or rather treadmill to feed the greed… I mean … how much stuff do we actually need… is this “stuff” in actuality a substitute for human connection… human connection that we have in reality sacrificed for stuff… yeah I know… these questions can give you a huge headache… oh… and no, this does not mean I am going to throw all my “stuff” in the trash… come on… really… it does mean I am sorting… choosing… de-cluttering… moving towards a more simplified life…

Now that I’ve written this… actually put it out there… impulse is to go hide in my closet… but I’m not going to do that… I am taking a breath… probably going to grab the rescue remedy… because yes I am freaking a bit… taking another breath… and stepping forward…

Had a bit of a rant on today… hope this makes sense…

May you walk in peace…


Mary E. Robbins
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