Week 3: AAArrrrGGGGHHHH!...Oh? It's Muscle...

It's week three weigh in day. I weighed in, and what did I see. That miserable scale did not budge. Yes my first impulse was to grab it and slam it against the wall in a full on temper tantrum. I resisted, I do not want to buy another scale. 300.5 - 0 = 300.5 phhhttt... still above 300 pounds.


I've logged all the calories, logged calorie expenditures, actually done the workouts, worked out until I could barely walk away from the stationary bikes.

I did the math and according to the figures I lost approximately 3.064 pounds of fat. Or rather I had a 10,724 calorie deficit for the week.  10,724 divided by 3500 (the number of calories in a pound of fat) equals 3.064 pounds of fat burned off.

OK, so what does this mean?  As far as I can tell, from the information I have at hand, this means that I have gained approximately 3.064 pounds of muscle.

This is why, or rather one of the main reasons why, I keep a food and exercise journal.  So I have a better idea of what is actually happening.

Yes I have been here before. Week 1 lose weight, week 2 lose weight, week three stay the same or bounce.  In the past it's always sent me spiraling out of control, or rather I've given up because what I thought was going to happen did not and I said "It doesn't work, why even try".

Not this time!  This time there is no second guessing. I  actually have the math to back up what I have actually done. Yay food and exercise journals.

I know there is increased muscle strength and endurance. That tells me I am building muscle. Which as frustrating as that scale not moving is, the muscle building is a very good thing for the long run.

Muscle weighs more than fat, it also burns more calories than fat does, and it gives me the strength and endurance to be able to do the activities I want to do. I can actually feel the muscles in my legs getting stronger, I can feel them in my abdominal region.

So what am I going to do? I am going to keep on keeping on. The scale may not

have budged, but I am still on target for where I want to be.

One day... one workout at a time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202

Week 2: Second Weigh in: Still Trucking

January 15th, 2012 first thing in the morning I went into my pantry, turned on the lights and stared at my scale. I knew that I had recorded what I ate, recorded my calorie expenditures, and should (note the should) have another weight loss for this week.  Even so I was nervous.

I straightened my spine, drew in my abdominals, gritted my teeth and, and, and, stepped on the scale. I made sure I had my feet in position, and then I took my hands off the wall and started balancing the scale. The scale I use has balance weights, and a level bubble in it. I lined up one weight, then started gradually moving the other into position. Watching that bubble all the time. First it was on one side of the lines, and then the other. Finally it lined up exactly in between those lines. There it was my weight for this week. I waited a second or two, not really sure how many, and took a look. 300.5 pounds.

Once again I am celebrating my weight even though it is still over 300 pounds. I am celebrating because I am still on target for my goal of being 100 pounds lighter on December 31st 2012.  I lost 2 pounds this week, 302.5 - 2 = 300.5 pounds.

So far this year I have lost 2 pounds for 2 consecutive weeks for a total of 4 pounds.  Not very dramatic I know. But to tell you the truth I have had about enough of drama. I am not going for the 10 to 15 pounds in a week weight loss only to have my body go into shock and plateau big time, or worse yet bounce right back up. I know the 2 pounds I lost is actually fat loss.

It's not from water loss, or laxatives, or any other stupid trick. That's right I said stupid; and yes I've pulled nearly every one of them in the past. Along with quite a number of strict, and I do mean strict food regimens, otherwise known as diets. I am so done with that crap. That's right I called it crap. I am not going to go any farther down that descriptive road at this time because it will turn into a full on rant, and that is putting it mildly.

What I am doing is eating real food. I am doing my best to make the calories I do eat actually be of value. By of value, I mean full of nutrition. For the most part I am avoiding artificial food products, and empty calories. That does not mean that I don't have a heath mini bar here and there, or coffee with cream, or ice cream, for that matter.  I just make sure I've recorded their calories and have a good nutrient base.

I am taking vitamins and minerals. I really like the P90X vitamin packets Beachbody has. I do recommend them. I also recommend Shakeology from Beachbody.  I do not use it as a meal replacement. I like it as a snack in the morning or afternoon.  I usually have a snack around 10:00 AM and around 3:00 PM.  One of my favorite snacks in the afternoon is an orange and a stick of string cheese.

I also make a point of drinking water. I bought myself 24 ounce  double walled water bottle and fill it at least twice a day. Most of the time it's filled 3 times a day or more, depending on how active I am. The more active I am the more water I drink. That's what I said, water. I usually put a packet of zero calorie, unsweetened electrolytes in at least one of the bottles of water. I am trying to stay away from artificial sweeteners, although I do consume some. I like diet coke now and again. Oh, and no I do not count it as water. Usually when I drink diet coke my body needs even more water than if I had not drank anything at all. Plus, my hands and feet swell up after I've drank it. That can't be good, ya know.

The other thing that I am doing is: wait for it. I bet you know what it is. Ok, here it is. The other thing I am doing is being active. I make a point of getting at least 30 minutes of cardio activity every day. That is my minimum. Most of the time I get considerably more. Just get up and move.

To start with I could barely ride my stationary bike 5 minutes. That's right I said 5 minutes. This morning I rode 3 sets on it. Set number 1 was 33 minutes, set number 2 was 46 minutes, and set number 3 was 45 minutes. I am riding in 30 to 45 minute sets because my feet, backs of my thighs, and butt go to sleep otherwise. I am finding it's more productive for me to break it into sets, then I can ride much longer.

Why so much on the stationary bikes?  No big secret, I want to be able to ride my bike, and actually be able to enjoy it this spring/summer/fall. I have a goal of  being able to ride a century in a day. I aim to do that by this fall. A century is 100 miles in a day.

Later, as in after this year, I'm thinking, I would like to take a vacation and ride in a bicycle tour. There is one in Alaska that caught my eye. Looks like fun.

Well that's it for week two of my quest to be 100 pounds lighter by December 31st 2012. 

Stay tuned in for a healthier lighter me.

Here's hoping that my journey will help other's along the way.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202

One Week in: 2012 on track

One week in and I am happy to say that I am still on track for my one big goal for the year.  I weighed on January 8th 2012, and I lost 2 pounds.  304.5 - 2 = 302.5 pounds.  As of the end of week one I am on track to lose and keep off 100 pounds in 2012.

Truth be told I was rather nervous and wanted to get on the scale before my weigh in date. But, I made a decision with this goal to not weigh more than once a week. This goal is about improving my body's health, not being compulsive on the scale.

In some ways it seem silly to celebrate one week after making this huge goal. Yes to me this is a huge goal. To lose 100 pounds. Looking at that total totally overwhelms my mind. So I look at the goal in parts. Two pounds a week will reach this goal with a few pounds extra by the end of 2012. There are 52 weeks in the year 52 x 2 = 104.  I can get my mind around 2 pounds a week.

Each week I follow through is a victory. Actually each day I follow through is a victory, and  I am celebrating them. Each and every one.

Every ride on the stationary bike, is a victory!  Every bottle of water, is a victory! Every day I use the food journal is a victory! (I am logging my calorie consumption, and calories expended on www.everydayhealth.com in the food journal- love it)

I am logging all forms of exercise, it helps me to see how many calories I am expending. I am logging every bite that goes in my mouth, this helps me to realize just what my body needs. It also helps me to know that I can live my life without crazy restrictions.

It is wonderful to know that I can become a healthier weight without liquid diets, weight loss surgeries, and the rest of the craziness that is endlessly promoted for weight loss.

Back to celebrating my victories, I am celebrating my victory of 2 pounds lost, and consistent workouts and food logging by rewarding myself with a pedicure

Celebrate your victories...

I'll post again next week.

Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202

2012 A New Year: 1 Solid Goal

2012 it amazes me that it is actually year 2012. I remember being terrified of year 2000 when I was a child. I remember thinking... that's the year I turn 40, and for some reason it seemed absolutely horrific. Well 2000 has come and gone, along with all the doomsday sayers for that year, and I am still here.

Of course we have a whole new spate of end of world fear mongers, and fear marketers, focused in on 2012. What do I think about all that? I think I will live until it is no longer my time to be in this life then I will no longer be here, and that is as it should be. I believe the fear mongers are seeking power by terrifying people, and the fear marketers, are using fear to make money. Frankly I believe both actions are disgraceful.

I did not make a list of resolutions for 2012. I set one solid goal. My goal for 2012 is to lose 100 pounds over the course of the year. Perhaps I should rephrase. My goal for 2012 is to be 100 pounds lighter by December 31st, 2012; and to achieve this change in a healthy manner.

I am not trying to lose huge amounts of weight per week, I am not weighing every day, nor am I obsessing over this goal. This time around I know it is achievable.

It would be great to have support in this journey, but with support or without it, I am making the changes to make achieving this goal a reality.

I am not seeking my family's approval of this goal. It would be great to have it, but if they resist my lifestyle changes, then that is up to them. I am continuing on. Yes resistance has already started. In the past I have allowed it to derail my goals and fallen back into old familiar "safe" routines.

Change tends to scare people. It seems to scare the people closest to you the most. I am sorry for their fear and uncertainty; but that is something they are going to have to deal with themselves. I choose to not live this fat unhealthy miserable lifestyle any longer. This is my choice. I am sorry if it scares you but I am continuing on with my quest.

I am hoping that the changes I am making in my lifestyle will encourage my family to make healthy changes as well. I am rather of worried about my husband, but he has to make his own decisions, I can not do it for him. That's been a really tough lesson for me to learn. I have always been one for trying "to fix" everything for those I care about. Taking responsibility for making everything "ok" for everyone. By the way, that does not work. Each of us is responsible for ourselves, it would be great if we could make it "ok" for others but it just does not work that way. What it does do is turn relationships into codependent enabler relationships, and frankly that is not healthy for anyone.

2011 was a year of healing, recuperation, and discovery, for me. My activity level was extremely limited after surgery in January 2011. I have not been that helpless and needy since I was a small child. The surgeon was right, it has taken the full year to recover, and heal my body.

The reduced activity level resulted in loss of muscle mass, I was amazed at how much. However, I am rebuilding in a steady, paced manner.

The major discovery was emotional, psychological, in nature. I discovered what was behind my compulsive binging behavior. As a result the compulsion to binge is gone. That is so wonderful! On the other hand, now I am experiencing on a daily basis, the emotions I was eating, so to speak. Allowing myself to actually experience these emotions has been a challenging process.

There was a phenomenal amount of anger, pain, feelings of betrayal, grief, rage, depression, and so on buried in layers of fat. I was eating my emotions, numbing myself to them. Only to have the dam burst periodically resulting in a massive flood of overwhelming emotions. It is actually quite wonderful to be out of that cycle.

All in all it is a good change. I am no longer binging, nor am I living in the past or the future. I am actually living now, in the moment. Life can be pretty wonderful lived in the moment.

The Serenity Prayer has become a Huge part of my life. It has been instrumental in helping me to get past massive panic attacks, and to accept the reality that I can not control everything. Also that I am not "responsible for" nor "required to control" everything.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It is ok to just be me. I do not have to be who anyone else expects me to be, or demands me to be... It is ok to enjoy the moment... to appreciate the moment... to just live. By the way, it's ok for you to just be you as well. :)

Living life in 2012, one moment at a time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins
307-788-0202