Showing posts with label stress management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress management. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Countering Stress and Depression ~ The Dalai Lama

This post spoke to me, may it bless you as well.

Life is a journey, may you have peace within on your travels
Mary E. Robbins

The Dalai Lama
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.

Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.

However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.

I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem

Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.

Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.

As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions.  All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.

This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.

A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.


The Dalai Lama

December 31, 2010

Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011

Countering Stress and Depression (89)

 

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Good Morning One and All

This has been quite the week, My birthday was on Feb. 5th which was also my weigh in day. I had stayed the same for 2nd week, and then lo and behold I bounced up 3 pounds. Grrr. Ok that happens, especially when you are building muscle. I knew I didn’t eat enough calories to make that happen with fat gain. (good reason to keep a food journal) I was a bit frustrated, but went on with my day. I am trying to stay away from the tape measure until I’ve lost 20 pounds. That would put my weight at 279lbs. I did weigh today-dropped the bounce plus one or a 4 pound loss. That puts me at 288lbs.

Back to the 5th, I popped onto my computer, wrote a couple of blog posts. One on Living in peace within yourself, no matter what is going on around you. This was on my Life is a journey blog, the other was on helping children deal with the death of a pet, this was on my Arfing News blog. .

I mentioned the blog posts because of the events that followed on my 49th birthday. Whoo, hoo… made it 49 years. Feb. 5th.

This is where it starts to get hairy. Later that day the railroad my husband works for calls me. Trying to find David to go to work. David was supposed to be at the other end of his run. So I told them he was at the lodging where he was supposed to be. One of the great things about David is when he works, he works. He doesn’t mess about. So I knew if he wasn’t where he was supposed to be there was a problem. Mind you this lodging, and railroad depot is out in the middle of rangeland. No towns for over 30 miles in any direction. It’s around 150 miles from our ranch.

The gentleman that called me said they couldn’t find him; and asked me again if he had come home for some kind of emergency. I said no he was there, and started to get worried. My husband has Type II diabetes, and uses insulin. Depending on how active he has been, and what/when he has eaten last his blood sugar can drop to very dangerous levels.

I asked the Mgr. if they had checked his room, the gym, a whole list of places on the property he could be. Usually he shows up 30 minutes early for work (yes he’s one of those) and he was not there.

I was trying not to panic, with visions of my husband confused from low blood sugar, heading for a coma and death on the wrong end of a train, or lost on the rangeland. It was just an hour before dark and temperatures drop quickly; the temps alone are reason for concern.

I told this Mgr. the only reason David wouldn’t be where he was supposed to be, is that something was wrong. I stressed the dangers of his sugar levels dropping; as in a body bag and funeral.

They had a team together looking for David with cans of full sugar soda pop. They scoured the lodging, the buildings at the depot, the parking lots and surrounding areas, and still couldn’t find him. By this time I was very concerned. I was wrapping things up here as quickly as I could, getting ready to jump in my pickup and roar across 150 miles to get to the depot to help look.

Mind you there are over 80 dogs here and I was in the middle of prepping their hot food when the railroad called.

The sheriff was being called to bring more people on board for the search, and ambulance alerted. I had just changed into my outside work/hiking boot type shoes and was heading for the door to get in the pick up truck when the phone rang again.

I took a deep breath and went for the phone. A number of my friends have sent their husbands off to work on the rail and had a corpse come home; gets a bit tense at times. My husband’s cell phone number was on the caller id. He was ok. (MASSIVE RELIEF!)

It turns out the desk clerk wrote down the wrong room number. The railroad depot Mgr. didn’t think to check the computer to see what room number my husband had entered when he logged off the computer.

I was relieved and completely exhausted, felt like a horse had kicked me in the chest. All that worry because someone wasn’t paying attention to their duties. Grrr. First it was a massive wave of emotion and relief, then it was pissed off on a magnitude that would make a volcano look small. My stomach dumped massive amounts of acid resulting in gastric attack after gastric attack, and swelling up from head to toe. Felt like a very large horse had kicked me in the chest for most of the week.

I am very glad that David is ok. I do love the fellow you know. I am glad he caught me before I made a 150 mile drive as fast as my pickup would go. I am rather put out that the entire situation could have been avoided by their desk clerk simply doing his/her job. The next time they call me I am going to tell them to check the railroad computer to see what room he is in. I wish I had known to tell them that this time. Such is life, I know now.

All things considered I did pretty good at living in peace within myself. I didn’t eat the entire frig,(just a half a peach pie) had a couple of bingy episodes, muscles still ache, from the tension but that’s a minor thing. Didn’t spiral into a depression or suicidal freak-out; that’s a good thing.

I could have done without the bloating; truthfully I could have done without the entire episode.

Sorry I haven’t been on the board. I did notice that working out first thing in the morning does wonders for my attitude all day long. Although I only made it 3 days this past week. Goal for this coming week is 6 days. I pushed play today: 5 more to reach weekly goal.


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

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My Resolutions:
Live the Greatest Year of my Life!
Live Life now: appreciate each moment as it happens!
Live in peace within myself!

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs
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