Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Bow Wow Wow...


Wonderful Wednesday Morning...
It's 70 degrees... yay... full day ahead... in truth I've already had a busy morning... today is a photo day... in addition to basic kennel care... construction... training... marketing... and yes I am doing oxyicse and hitting the ellipitical... zoom zoom zoom... Business across the board is looking good... I'm totally revved up about the Predator release this friday... WOW... there is a live conference this evening 7:30 EST (eastern standard time) the location is http://www.mom.ttcglobaltalk.com/ Your user name is your first name and password is guest. Be there early so you can get in... you'll need to download a little program to use the conference room... the program is safe... and no it dosen't cost you anything... See you in the conference! I'll be there... WOW... WOW... WOW... WOW... running with the Big Dogs in this one...Life is a journey... enjoy the trip... Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs (alias Poms)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Monday Night...


Hello Hello Hello... I am so excited I could just bounce... boing... zing... bonk... bouncing off the walls... The Predator System is due to be released this Friday... OMG! Yes It's tasty... very tasty indeed... M

Monday, August 28, 2006

Monday Morning


Good Morning World! Early morning view from my front door... cattle grazing... chickens doing their thing... antique tractor... classic jeep... dog house of course... lake and ridge of hills in the distance... and yes I know I need to use the weed eater... lol... I feel much better today... lungs are not on fire! Major relief... it's been raining on and off the past couple of days and cleaned up the air a bit... :) Awful knot or whatever that spot is... is not hurting as much today either... David came home around midnight... I was dozing on the love seat...I woke up... we visited a bit ... just spent a bit of time together... each had a bit of a drink... blackberry merlot for me... mmmm... he had whiskey and soda... I really went to sleep... feels great to actually get some zzzzzzssss... I don't think I got up at all during my short night... a glass of wine and a bit of conversation before bed is a delightful thing... Knotting Hill was on the Television... I like that movie... must have been a Julia Roberts night or something... because Pretty Woman came on after ... I like both movies... but I went off to bed... I'm actually starting to learn my way around Veretekk a bit... Happy to say... still feel like a bit of a boob... but I'm learning... hee hee... just tickles me ...
Puppies were all ok when I went up to the kennel... I was worried... I'd been pretty ill... and I tend to miss things when I'm like that... went after feed yesterday... my P.T. Cruiser was packed like a suitcase... had 30 .... 40 pound bags of feed in there...

It's 55 degrees Fahrenheit here this morning... and damp... yup... it's autumn all right...

Life is a journey... some days feel better than others... Mary e. Robbins & the Hairballs (alias Poms)

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Hard Day... Hard Night...


Hard to breathe today... harder last night... must be the smoke from the fires... pain under my right shoulder blade... so bad it hurts to breathe... even past the pain... it's difficult to breathe... it rained last night... still smells like smoke... rained 3/4 inch... we really needed it... there are no puddles from the rain... it was that dry... monster lightening flashes... need to go buy dog food... don't know if I can drive... hope I'm better tomorrow... hard to talk when I can't get my breath so I haven't been working on the phone either... no air... no speech... moving pretty slow... slow and painful... hurts to breathe... not just under shoulder blade... both lungs hurt... dizzy... been choking a lot the past couple of days... throat swelled up I think... metallic taste in my mouth... hard to walk... face kind of numb... wondered if I would wake up dead today... still here...

David just got called to work... so it's just me and the critters... dogs...chickens...guinneas...cats... cockatiels and such... Today I really don't want to stay out here without another human... I'm not going to tell him that... he doesn't need that on his mind when he's working on a coal train... needs to pay attention to what he's doing... not worry about me... I'm so tired... gotta go to the kennel dogs... they need taken care of... every breath is pain... i am so tired... so tired... gotta change my focus... letting myself be sad and depressed is not going to get those dogs taken care of... change focus... drink some more coffee... seems to help... take some allergy tabs see if they help a bit too... hope so... if there are no more posts... then I'm on the other side... and this body is fertilizer...
sooooo....
Life is a journey... some days are rough going... Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs

Friday, August 25, 2006

Friday Morning...


58 degrees at 8:14 am... it's cooling down... gee big surprise it's the end of August... I started working at 6:30 this morning... busy little beaver... building away... on my trusty computer... only to find that the system I needed to get into with all my prep work... is down... a very good argument for not putting all your eggs in one basket...

I found out yesterday that I need... bifocals... hmmmm.. not sure what I think about that... actually I think I'm going to wait a bit...

Coffee is done... time for a cup of joe...and some breakfast... have to do some tweaking on the windows I fixed earlier this week... grrrr... live and learn...

I think I misunderstood some instructions on one project... gotta double check and make sure... before I offer them to anyone else...

still haven't found myk cell phone... mountains of paper to shred for dog bedding in my office... it is probably lost in there... ugh... I checked my account and no calls are being made... so it's somewhere in this house I think...

want to call Colleen today... and do some dog followup calls... and the list goes on... lol...

suprised me that the system was down... grr... they aren't down very much... so it really was a surprise... kind of threw me off track... I was pretty focused on what I was doing... hmmm... they'll get it back up...

hunger headache... better eat something... tee hee... I am losing weight... hee haw... good by fat... I figure it will take about 3 years to take it all off... or all that I want to take off that is... 131 lbs to go... I do not want to turn into a skin sack hanging on my frame... and have to have surgery to cut it off or draw it up... Hopefully as I slowly take the fat off it will draw up on it's own... face looks a little better this morning... when I look at it I wonder if it's the same thing Bosco had... try not to think about that... but if it is... I have about a year left on this body... before it's decomposing... suddenly I'm tired... just bone tired... amazing what a change in mindset can do... ok... so it's time to change it again... to lets go... ya ya... lets go... ya ya... lets go ...ya ya...

later tater... M

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hot Hot Hot


The heat came back today with a vengeance... It's 5:27 p.m. and it's 99 degrees Fahrenheit up on the ridge... that means it's around 110 here in the hollow... oven baked everything...
just a sizzlin... Mary

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Morning...Stiff and sore

Good Morning... Seems superfluous to say that... I woke up stiff and sore this morning... like I knew I would... always do after pushing it to the limits... I quit working last night when I couldn't hold the drill any longer... pulled the plastic and paper off the windows in the kennel... there are 6 windows each 2 by 4 feet... all in a row... I covered them with fiberglass... green tinted fiberglass... put up 2 8 foot sheets of corrugated tin above them... pulled what seemed like a thousand staples... I'd layered plastic sheeting over plastic sheeting over those windows for the past 3 years... vaccumed up the mouse shit... and brittle plastic pieces... went a little nuts at the screaming of a pup that wanted to be cuddled... I can't stand that sound just sets me off... yes the pup is ok... and not screaming any more... that behavior is discouraged... I've had a wicked time turning that behavior in my dogs around since she was here... I'm not sure what she did... but I have a pretty good idea... her heart was in the right place... but rewarding a screaming shrieking dog... is not a good idea... creates monsters... the same as with children... ugh... I feel sorry for them... she inadvertently encouraged the behavior by rewarding them for shrieking... now they have to learn that it is unacceptable behavior... not just for me... but for their new people as well... Shrieking barking dogs lose their homes... or get hurt by their people...

Back to the windows... as I was turning on the shop vac... I had a first happen... when the vac kicked on a live mouse was blown out of its air exhaust... bounced off my jean clad leg and landed on the floor... I sucked him/her back up into the vacuum... yes I did... dead mouse now... that shop vac is a beast... i think I'm going to cover the outside of that bank of windows with some translucent white fiberglass too... make an air pocket ... and keep most dirt and moisture off the window sills... I have a good sense of accomplishment over getting the windows covered ... but am still pissed over having to take the time to do it myself... after it was promised to be done by another person... frankly I'd rather people not say they are going to do something when they are not... or can not... good intentions or not...

I tried to do a bit on the computer last night... but fell asleep... hand on the mouse... Min Min sitting in the shredder tub... or rather sleeping in the shredder tub... read a bit in a magazine called Tango this morning... interesting... weighed... still 276 lbs... plateaued... I'm down around 9 or 10 pounds over all... and have been a bit grazy the past few days... stress I think... not grazy today... had cereal with berries and milk... and coffee this morning for breakfast... a few hours ago... I had mindset playing in the background about 4 times yesterday while I was inside the house... took that long to turn my shitty attitude around... truthfully I'm angry... just flat pissed off that this work is not done... I needed to be working on the computer and with mentors rather than doing construction on a building that should have been finished out several months ago... and those damn mice... I hate mice... grrrr... chew through the waferboard like it wasn't there... the tin should slow them down... I know another breeder that used stainless steel to keep them out... hopefully the tin can handle it... I was going to bend sheets of tin for the corners but I think I'm going to buy flashing instead... already cornered... part of the wafer board is just hanging there... not attached to the rafters... good grief... sooooo... I'm going to get some steel braces and use them to keep it up in place... pissed me off when I saw that... of course it didn't help any that I was already exhausted... and working over my head with an 8 foot sheet of corrugated metal... I think I'm going to see if I can get a vicoden prescription... hurt all over the place... don't know... pain can really mess with your attitude... in truth I can't remember the last day I was pain free... getting pretty fed up with it... hot bath with epsom salts here I come... then it's on to the day...

later tater... M

Monday, August 21, 2006

Monday Morning


Wild roses by the corner of my whelping house dog run... love those flowers...

It's Monday... yup it is... gack... phhhttt... geez there's an attitude ... Actually I'm kind of pissed at myself that I didn't accomplish more last week... sooooo... here comes another week... goals for the week: 1. oxycise 5 times 2. write down what ever is eaten 3. kennel building lined with the tin I have and the window coverings 4. 3 male dogs dna 5. 3 days 20 minutes a day out going mentors calls 5. follow up on calls made after seminar 6. vaccinate puppies 7. organize office 8. 1 pm mtn seminar m-f 7. traffic swarm during seminar 8. schedule draft 9. dog emails 10. update dog website 11. read 20 minutes a day 11. have car serviced 12. buy kennel feed 13. straw dog houses 14. order door stripping for calf hutches 15 shred paper 16. clean office... have the floor cleared 16. get qualified for mentors 17. one additional mentors sale ... keep looking till you find the right match 18. update dog ads... 19. send out group email with the kennel update... 20. get into veretekk... do some training 21. ffsi ... go through website 22. email rose and mike 23. email ritchie 24. brush one pen of dogs.... ok this is a goal to do list... rough draft...
Ok that's all I'm putting on there...

I am listening to the mindset module while I'm writing... didn't sleep much last night and woke up with a nasty attitude... cat came running up to me when I stepped out the door... I about let the big dogs out to get it away from me... poor cat really isn't doing anything ... I'm just pissed at the world this morning... ok... re-adjust attitude... today is a great day... beautiful outside... lots of potential... I am accomplishing much today... I am enjoying the growing and work process... I am getting much accomplished today... my dogs are doing great... Happy Healthy Wealthy and Wise...

What Do I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT?!?!?!?! I want to be able to Sleep While the Wind Blows... That's what I want...

Breakfast: slim fast optima and coffee

Life is a journey... how you react to the scenery is up to you... Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs

Friday, August 18, 2006

Can You Sleep When the Wind Blows


Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.
He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were
reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the
awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.
As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received
A steady stream of refusals.Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached
the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him.
"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help,
Hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from
dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.
Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore.
Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed
next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the
little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming!
Tie things down before they blow away!"
The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No
sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on
the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.
To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had
been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens
were in the coops, and the doors were barred.
The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.
Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his
hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while
the wind blew.
When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically,
you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the
wind blows through your life?
The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he
had secured the farm against the storm.
We secure ourselves against the storms of life by
grounding ourselves in the Word of God.
We don't need to understand, we just need to hold
His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.
A friend of mine sent this to me today,
and I enjoyed it so much, that I wanted to send it to you.
I hope you enjoy your day and you sleep well.

Friday Morning


Was supposed to have 2 pups going to their new homes today... but that had to be rescheduled... plummer coming... going to vaccinate and muck out kennel instead... exhausted yesterday... didn't get what I wanted to done... frustrated and itchy... that's me... dry skin... ugh... new faucet in the kitchen... the old one quit... didn't realize just how much I used that thing till no water... there's water now... gotta move it... by M

Thursday, August 10, 2006

lost another half pound

I fogot... I lost another half pound... that's 5 down ... 131 to go...

how do i do this... how did i get here... what do i do now

Hmmm…. Do I want to do the Mentors Elite Team…
And the Answer Is… let’s see… what could it be…
oh I remember… Yes! Yeah … Well that was a no brainer…

But whether I want to do it is not the question… The Big Fat Burning Question… Is…

HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this… HOW am I going to do this…

That question has been running in an endless loop in the background of my mind… Here’s the rub… I multi-task constantly… not because It sounds cool… or is a fun thing to do… but because at this point it is a necessity… there is rarely a time that I am not doing several things at once… if it’s a call I’m listening to… I mute the phone and go about kennel work… feeding…watering…cleaning… vaccinating…grooming… etc… kennel necessities that must be done… ignore them and animals die… especially in this heat…

I hired a woman to learn the ropes… she has 8 or 10 dogs of her own… wants to run a kennel… I thought it would take a week at the outside to train her… good grief… it was follow the routine… follow the list… took a month… took me more time to train her than to do the work myself and just be done with it… I know it’s a handful…but geez… she only had the morning/mid-day work…none of the evening work…

She lasted about 1. and 1/2 months after training… I told her to wear a bloody straw hat…to hydrate with electrolytes…not pepsi only… to wear loose protective clothing… and hello it’s a freaking ranch…wear stable work shoes… wouldn’t listen… she ended up in the hospital… thought it was her gall-bladder… doctor said no… as it turned out … she had dehydrated herself… low on electrolytes…. Overheated… and beat herself up… she fell all over the place… slip in mud… fall over stock panel fencing… barb wire… she ended up with muscle spasms and intestinal spasms from hell… she thought she was dying… in truth I don’t think she has any idea just how close she was to that very thing… She has a good heart… she would never deliberately do anything to hurt a dog… inexperience an d ignorance … hurt them that way… but not deliberately… damn near killed herself… oh… no I’m not letting her come back out here… not as a kennel manager… no way I’m not body bagging her… no sense… no comprehension regarding working in the heat… the dogs have fresh water and wading tubs… they are in and out of the water all the time cooling off… or just stretching out in the tubs soaking… gotta watch them for hot spots… helps to have an eye for the dogs (Like you have an ear ) … to recognize subtle behavior changes… a sense for what’s happening… keep in mind I have over 30 years experience… I was raised taking care of kennels… and other livestock… my mother started in kennels when I was three… I took 10 years out in the middle… university… and management/ sales positions… sales besides dogs that is… the rest of the time… I’ve been … shall we say dogging it…

Looks Like I took the long way to say… I hired someone to take some of the work/time pressure off… it didn’t work out… made it worse than it was to start with… it’s getting better… the dogs are fine… I’m behind on … let’s see… just about everything… sounds like I just can’t handle my shit… literally…

Actually That’s true… it’s not usually the case… but since spring of 2003 it has been… I still get tired pretty easy… and I’m awfully behind in my office… I am however, making progress… the writing in the box… tells what happened… West Nile Virus nailed me but good… then adhesions… and a very messy hysterectomy… I was sniffing around a Mary Sized body bag last September…

Right after we bought our happy hairball home spring of 2003 … I contracted West Nile Virus… I didn’t realize what I had to start with… awful headache… fever/chills…extreme exhaustion… swelling across the base of my skull from ear to ear… lymph nodes swelled up… awful muscle and joint pain… and then that rash from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet… like measles on steroids… the symptoms were spread out over 8 weeks… doc said the rash was the tail end of it…however it left damage in it’s wake…nerve damage… the muscle and joint pain stayed with me… so bad it would keep me awake at night and turn my stomach…never ending … I started falling… dropping things… driving my car or the truck was a challenge to say the least… since I couldn’t be sure my legs or arms would do what I wanted them to… makes braking and steering a bit dicey… taking care of my kennel was a nightmare… it was dangerous for me to even hold a puppy… taking photographs and editing them was just sad… motor skills in my hands were …lets just say compromised…

About this time…My upline in New Vision called me and asked me if I was taking my vitamins/minerals … I wasn’t …he informed me that it was Official… they wouldn’t do me any good sitting on the shelf… he also told me that New Vision was coming out with a product with Mangosteen in it… and that it was pretty good stuff… I thought Yeah right… ok fine… I’ll try it… I started on the vitamins with mangosteen as soon as it came out…and I took the minerals along with it…

It wasn’t instant… get real… of course it wasn’t… but about 3 months after I stared taking them… consistently… I realized … “hey” I’m not in constant muscle and joint pain any more…

It seems that there had been another problem brewing along the same time… or rather growing…and in September 2005 the surgeons removed an ovary the size of a cantaloupe… it had split open and was draining … both the uterus and other ovary were enlarged as well… and it seems my insides were stuck… or rather grown together with adhesions… bit of a mess… a very painful mess…

Before surgery the docs gave me the cancer talk… then they gave me the cancer talk again… then they warned me about damage to my abdominal muscles (long vertical cut) and warned me about scarring… after surgery they sent that mess to the lab… there was no cancer… they sent it to an external lab as well… no cancer… yes I’m smiling…

So why do I love New Vision… Because I Feel Good… can I prove that New Vision’s products made me feel good… no… but I know my body needs nutrients so it can heal it’s self… I know my abdominal muscles are healing up and getting strong again… the scar they thought would gap open is not… gaping open… and is disappearing as it heals… I know I can hold my puppies again … not to mention vaccinate and groom my dogs and actually enjoy photography again… that says nerve damage is reversing… at least that’s what it says to me… All I can really say… is I felt bad… Really really bad… and now I feel good… on my way to really really good…

So I enjoy the first light of the morning… my coffee… the birds and fowl… smile at the delight of a puppy and their new people… and I take my Vitamins Essential Minerals plus Mangosteen… and I truly appreciate a company who’s products actually are what they claim to be…



Ok so what’s the point of this writing…
1. To Bitch Whine and Moan… no not really… It’s been a rough 3 years… but both bad and good has come out of it… I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago…no not just the missing parts… attitude has changed… that’s actually a good thing… not such a roller coaster.. .more even keeled…
2. To sort out where I’ve been and where I’m going… not just an idealized … I’m going here… but where I’m actually going… and what course corrections I need to make to get to where I want to go…
3. What would be the most efficient use of my time…
a. Regarding immediate income Mentors
b. Veretekk
c. Ffsi
d. Kennel
e. New vision

4. I can not multi-task and do outgoing calls… not incoming either… I can’t multi-task when I do dog interviews either… those take from 1 to 3 hours … if they come to tour the ranch… it can seriously take a while to get them out of here… when I do a dog interview on the phone… or in person for that matter… they have my full attention…
5. ok… sooooo… does a 30 second phone invite need my full attention… my instinctual response would be yes… they’ll feel it if I’m not paying full attention to them.. I’ll get a better response if I’m focused…

6. Ok… how am I not finding time for a 30 second call… because I lost control of the conversation on the incoming calls… and they were too long… too long… too much of me invested in each call… exhausted…

7. That initial interview process I use with the dogs is kicking in… ok… how do I control that implulse… practice the script… keep a copy of the script infront of me at all times during call periods… use a timer…

8. I’m pretty paranoid of screwing up the closes… ok… so is that the end of the world… no it sucks… but it’s not the end of the world… ok… so what are you going to do about it… change my attitude… they are either going to go for it … or they aren’t… skill level will increase with experience… experience comes from practice… so just do it…

The Past 3 years have been a financial nightmare… I’d get going then I’d crash… work then crash… when I physically crash… I’m just useless… can’t talk… everything just shuts down…passed out walking in from the kennel yards more times than I can remember… bloody annoying that… I do believe my superwoman cape has been shredded beyond repair… I am functioning better… not passing out so much… better motor control… driving long distances really makes me tired… the airport trip is a challenge… it’s approx. a 400 mile loop… that used to be just nothing… now it’s this huge effort… but if I prepare for it I can make it… the pups fly out of the Denver Airport… 2 are going this Friday… the airport trip and basic kennel care is all I’ll get done on Friday… I’ll be pulling out of here at 3:00 am… delivery days, tour days, and heavy interview days are when I could really use someone reliable… I’m not training any kennel help right now… temper’s too short… if he/she didn’t follow instructions I would be sorely tempted to feed them to the guard dogs… mmmm squealing feed… there you go… a stupid human chew toy… the kennel and house guards are the rescue dogs… they range from 70 to 100 plus pounds each… they keep the coyotes, cougar, bobcat, fox, and stray humans out of my home and kennels…
If I make a mistake selling the mentors course… I lose a sale… or have some whining thing hanging on me… If I make a mistake with the kennel… they (Poms) either get hurt or die… make a mistake placing them and you give them a hellish life… make a mistake hiring and dogs get hurt… this time around it was 2 dogs with broken legs (the last time one of my kennel dogs had a broken leg was 8 years ago) a hot spot the size of my hand on a mother dog’s back… that’s huge on a pom… could have been avoided with a comb out after whelping… that’s all it would have taken… and one burned up air conditioner… that could have killed every dog in the whelping house… so what was it… stupidity… carelessness… or inexperience…

OMG… it’s 3:28 am…. I’ve got to get some sleep…

Ok… so do I want to do mentors… I want the results of doing mentors… the gain in self confidence. And the money… I want out from under this massive financial pressure… pisses me off that I have over 100,000 coming in gross between my husband and myself and we are broke… hasn’t been consistent though… over the past three years mine really bottomed out… went in the hole big time… well big time for me… we are somewhere between 200,000 and 250, 000 in debt… might not be much to donald trump… but it’s a lot to me…

Income from the kennel can disappear in a heartbeat… quite a bit of cash flows… but the profit margin can be pretty narrow… in truth… I have some wonderful dogs… and my older breeding stock… and retireds will always have a home… unless I check out before they do… but I don’t want to operate at this volume… I am exhausted… gotta maintain until I get puppies and young dogs placed that weren’t placed while I was ill… that will drop numbers… I want some cash flow so I can contract with a professional groomer… wire this building… heat the calf hutches (4 by 7 houses) in the exercise yards… heated water for winter… shade for summer… security cameras… so I can check on the dogs from anywhere via lap top… guess this is some of my why…

I want out of this financial pressure cooker… David is retiring in 4 years… and has no bloody idea of the finances… he has retirement… but it is approximately half of his current earnings… sooooo I would truly like that replaced and then some before hand… and not by dogs… boarding maybe… but not breeding…

I want some residual income coming in so if I’m ill and can’t sell it doesn’t matter… or if David (husband) crashes again financially it won’t matter…he had a stroke may 2001… 2 weeks after I bought my car on payments… lousy timing on my part… we nearly lost our home that time… borrowed a bunch of money to keep things floating… on a bright note…he had good recovery… found out he was diabetic… now he’s on insulin…he’s lost some motor function… drops things a lot… now we both do… after that west nile mess… hello plastic glasses…

before that I had pneumonia year after year I think it was 3 winters straight… I didn’t have a kennel this size then… emergency appendectomy … before that… went back to work too soon and tore everything open… Hey… I asked the doc… told him what I did for work… he said it would be fine… he was wrong… what a mess… then in 2000 it was adhesions making my life hellish… grew around my intestines and shut them off… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone… awful pain… threw up feces… after surgery I recovered pretty quickly all things considered…

David’s first wife died of huntingtons… horrid disease… and of course neither of them planned at all… so there was a mountain of debt there from medical bills… nursing homes… etc… I did get that cleaned up… paid off…

I’m tired… I’d like a day off here and there… and I’d like to be able to go out to dinner and not cringe at the bill… be able to buy my mom an extreme 4 by 4 power wheel chair… so she can get out and about without getting stuck… I’d like to build a custom house… but unless I have the money for and have found a reliable house cleaner… I don’t want it… I want this kennel streamlined… and the income from there replaced… I can see mentors as a positive way to do that… right now I’m struggling to keep up with the kennel work… I’m making headway placing puppies… and such… but my office is a nightmare of piles of paperwork… even with the multitasking… I need to do mentors… so… what do I not do … so I can have the time to do mentors… there it is… time management… gotta have time to sleep… mind is racing like crazy… gotta get some sleep… 4:06 am… should be up at 6… I’m going to pour a glass of wine and try to get some zzzzz’s so I’m not falling asleep behind the wheel Friday morning…

Thursday, August 03, 2006

boom boom boom

The neighbor is attacking prairie dogs this morning... literally blowing them up... sounds like a war zone... I would imagine it feels like a war zone for the prairie dogs... funny smell then boom your neighbor is blown to bits... the earth shakes... your nose and eyes water... fear everywhere... yeah it's a war zone... dirty nasty job... the problem is they are destroying acres upon acres of land... the balance is off... too many predators have been killed off... so the rodents (prairie dogs) are multiplying like crazy... destroying grazing lands ... breaking horses and cattles' legs when they step in their holes... it's a no win situation... or rather a situation when species compete over the same area... one or the other of the species loses... sometimes both... you know they live in communitites much like we do... post a guard... and work together... kill them... don't kill them... I'll post my confilicted thoughts here... as it is not a good idea to voice them in ranch country...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wednesday... ppphhhhttttt


weight bounced... client canceled puppy pickup... mom's power wheelchair bit the dust... sooooo pppphhhhttttt ... yep that's it... ppphhhttttt!!!!!!!!!!!! had the starter replaced on the 1993 ford pu... that was twice a much as we thought it was going t be... pppphhhhttt!!!!

made the 1 pm conference... that was good...

I know the weight will bounce back down... I didn't eat enough calories in 5 days for that bounce... so it has to be swelling... suck... got my glasses' frames fixed... they are going to replace them... dwr (hubby) went to work... I've been working here all day... frustrated at this point... like that isn't showing in my writing... I'm hungry and I have a headache... and am no way near done for the day... pppphhhhtttt.... need to get away from the computer before it ends up in pieces... like that would solve anything... pppppphhhhhttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Not as smoky this morning..



Happily it is not as smoky this morning... Last night it was a bit scary... The temp this morning has dropped to 63 degrees... With a cloud cover... Threatening rain... Hopefully it will rain a bit... Another lightening storm last night... Quite the light show...

yesterday's longer post was actually a letter to my aunt... She is quite the person... In her 90's and a very straightforward person...

I was exhausted most of the day yesterday... I think it was from the smoke... Or who knows... Probably a combination of smoke inhalation, stress, and exhaustion from the day before...

breakfast this morning was toasty o's milk coffee... David was home yesterday... and seemed to think I needed to eat everything he did... no I did not eat everything he did... but I did eat more than usual... my own responsibility... I'm the one that put it in my mouth and ate it...

Life is a journey... today is a new day... Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs

'Daily Affirmation' Video