My body weight is UNDER 300 LBS!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!

My body weight is UNDER 300 LBS!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!

As an added bonus I have lost just over 5% of my total body weight. 313.8 – (313.8x5%) = 298.11 lbs

313.8 – 298.6 = 15.2 lbs no longer being carried around… YaY!

I remember the last time I weighed this much. My weight was climbing uncontrollably at the time. I was angry, sad, suicidal and so very very lost. I remember sitting here thinking that if my weight went over 300 lbs I was just done. Finished. I was going to end it.

I don’t remember the date, I suppose I could find it if I dug back through my journals over the years. I would have to go several years back to find it. I think I’ll leave it just where it is, in the past.

I am in such a different place now. I still live in the same house. I am still married to the same man. I still love to read and garden. But it is as if I am a different person. In a way I suppose I am.

I am a much happier, healthier, healing person; in mind body and spirit. Facing and dealing with the issues that I had allowed to torture me over the years.

Weight gain, bulimia, anexoria, all compulsive self-destructive behaviors… find the triggers behind the behaviors and you are well on your way to setting yourself free.

Pills, surgeries, gimmicks, and/or fads are not going to set you free. It’s up to you to do the work. Coaches, Doctors, friends, books, and so on are wonderful and useful. However it is still up to you. They can help you develop skills, but it is up to you do do the work. It is up to you to change your perspective from fix it for me, from blaming circumstances, or other people, to how do I do this for myself. My life, my responsibility… my choice, my freedom.

Your life, your responsibility…. Your choice, your freedom.

The attitudes you keep and the words you speak define your life.

 

Measurements:

Date:	Measurements inches  May 19th 2012	Measurements: inches  June 23rd , 2012	Change inches
Butt/hips	59	58	-1
Waist:	44.75	43.5	-1.25
Under Bust:	42	40.75	-1.25
Above  Bust:	41.75	41	-.75
Bust (wearing pink leisure  bra~yes it does make a difference) :	52	50	-2
Belly 2 inches below navel:	60	57.75	-2.25
Right thigh:	33.5	32	-1.5
Left thigh:	34.5	32	-2.5
Right calf:	21.5	21.25	-.25
Left Calf:	21.5	20.5	-1
Right upper arm:	16.5	15.75	-.75
Left Upper arm:	16	15.75	-.25
Right forearm:	12.5	12.5	-0
Left forearm:	12	12	-0
Neck:	16.25	15.75	-.5
Total change inches:			-15.25

Yes You Can!

Life is a journey, one moment, one step, one day, one workout at a time!

Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202
find me on facebook

Top of the Morning Peeps!

Top of the morning Peeps! Today I choose to be responsible for me and my choices. On this grand day I choose to appreciate life and actually live it. No excuses. No whines… just do it…

I’ve been floundering around for several weeks. I’d lost some weight, then I allowed larger portions to come back in, and I gained. Enough of this. It doesn’t matter if my husband refuses to get off his butt and exercise. Of course I joined him in sitting on my but on the couch recliner. He didn’t make me sit on my butt… I chose to sit there with him and watch tv. Frankly the longer I sat there the angrier and crappier I felt.

I see where he is heading, and it scares me. Frustrates me as well, because there is not a friggen thing I can do about it.

I am not responsible for his activity. Taking care of his body has to be his choice. However I am responsible for mine. Frankly I choose to be able to be active… so… I’m rocking it… yeah!

Maybe… just maybe he will decide to get up and move too. But if he doesn’t, I am sorry, but I am not sitting there with you turning into a pile of human mush. This has been a tough decision for me. I love the guy and do not want to leave him behind rotting in a friggen chair.

Has to be his choice… I’ve made mine…

I can do this! I need to do this! I want to do this! I am doing this!

One day one workout at a time!

Mary E. Robbins
find me on facebook

Gun Ownership… the why’s and why nots

I was perusing one of my favorite sites this morning, Vibrant Nation, and I came across a post entitled “Me, own a gun”. It peaked my interest and I read on, then I went on to read the replies…

Of course I have an opinion. It was written as a reply, but it stands on it’s own. My take on gun ownership, the whys and why nots…

*******   

I am having my coffee. Finished a lovely breakfast of yogurt and buttered blueberry toast. Now I’m sitting here, listening to the meadowlarks call… thinking about guns. Thinking about the attitudes about guns. To have one or not to have one, that is the question. Actually it’s not the question at all. Here is the question. Why do you want one?

This is not a “should you or shouldn’t you” question. It’s why do you want one? Note; I haven’t said whether I have one or not. Is it a big secret? No, it’s not, but it’s also not the point. Not just yet.

Here is another question. If it came down to it. Could you, would you kill to defend yourself. I don’t need to know your answer; you do. Just know this; If you pull a gun on someone and are not prepared to use it, you are gambling in a high stakes game that you are going to lose. The stakes in this case, is your life.

If you are going to have/use a gun. Get to know your gun. Not … Oh here’s the barrel here’s the handle and let’s see the bullets go in here. How many shots does it hold? Learn how to use it. Yes, get to the target range and practice, practice, practice. Learn how to clean it, take it apart, put it back together. Feel the balance, what kind of kick does it have. Are the sites on target? How do I hold it? How do I stand so I’m stable if rushed?

Here is another question. Where to keep it so it’s out of sight, yet I have quick simple access? If your home protection gun is locked in a safe, hidden in a shoe box unloaded in the back of the closet, or some other obscure difficult to get to place. Do yourself a favor. Contact a reputable gun dealer and sell it. You are not prepared to use it.

I am not saying to be careless or cavalier with it; that would be disgustingly irresponsible. A gun is a tool, a piece of equipment. It doesn’t make you bigger. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t make you safer. It is only as useful as your skill set is.

If you have children in the house, teach them. It’s not a toy, it’s a tool. If you have a gun, you have the responsibility. There is no getting around that. Deny it if you will, you still have the responsibility. Don’t be the idiot; that set up a target against a couple of straw bales and killed his small child that was playing behind the bales. You’re right; I have no sympathy for people like that. It wasn’t an accident; it was careless and irresponsible.

Owning a gun is not going to stop you from living in fear. Living in fear is not a good reason to own a gun. If you are living in a dangerous situation, or a potentially dangerous situation; develop your skill set. Your most valuable tool is your mind, your attitude. Everything else is secondary. A gun is a minor tool in comparison.


********
In answer to some possible curiosities: Do I own a gun? Yes I do. Why? Because I live on a ranch and it is a useful tool. Do I own a gun because I am (or was) afraid? No, I own a gun to defend myself, my home and livestock from predators; be they rattle snake, coyote, cougar, rabid animal, or human. Am I mentally/physically capable of killing? Yes I am. Do I like killing? No I do not. I do not like killing any living creature. If I have to I will; but only as a last resort.

Best ask your self the above questions; put some thought into it and answer them honestly. I don’t need to know your answers. Only you need to know them; and you do need to know them…. Especially if you choose to own a gun.

Life is a journey, how you walk it is your choice.
Mary E. Robbins
Robbins Run Ranch
307.788.0202

It's Your life... Live it!

I saw this video clip and it struck a chord with me. A few of the points that jumped out to me ...

Blame and Responsibility are not synonymous

Shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep

You are Responsible for your Life!

What you think about... you bring about...




2009 has been quite the year. Stressful event after stressful event, resulting in an extremely stressful living situation. Compounded by personal attacks, and financial challenges.

Has it been a horrid year. In actuality no it has not. There have been multiple blessings throughout the year as well.

Am I going to enumerate the stressful events and blessings? No I am not. Suffice it to say it has been an “interesting” year in so many ways. I am happy to move on to 2010.

Throughout the process of dealing with this year’s “events” and the situations that led up to said events. A fair amount of frustration and anger blooming into a rage has built itself within my mind and heart. I choose not to live in rage and hate, so I have been trying to “lay it down and move on” … or “forgive” and move on.

Only to find that I’ve picked it back up and clutched it to myself. Compounding the frustration and rage, building it to even higher levels of intensity.

So of course here comes yet another unnecessary interruption. These have become commonplace this year, and a source of some frustration on my part. As anyone that writes knows having your train of thought broken …. Whomp there it is.

Ok where was I? Ah yes, to not carry around frustration and anger. To be able to let it go, and actually let it go. Does this mean that I condone the actions that resulted in the anger and frustration in the first place? One word answer to that, NO!

Inconsiderate people that do not take responsibility for themselves are a source of annoyance to me. Does that mean that I am willing to carry that anger around? Give them power in my life, by changing my focus to their selfish behavior. No, it does not.

So how to deal with it? There is the question. I had been focusing on laying down anger and forgiving. Seriously was not working for me. The more I “focused” on laying down anger and “forgiving” the more I saw the anger and the inconsiderate incidents, outright manipulation, self righteous crap, attacks and so on. Doesn’t sound like I’ve laid down any anger, nor forgiven.

Did you catch the key word? No? Yes? Either way here it is. Ready for it. Yeah ok here it is… ta dah… FOCUS. Yep that it; focus. Focus focus focus focus focus.

What you focus on is what you realize in your life. Rather ironic; in this case I was actually trying to lay anger down, and forgive. Must have at least a bit of a sense of humor about these things.

I had long since stopped saying why; and have been going over how do I do this. How how how how…

As a result I started seeing bits and pieces of how.

Change my focus from laying down what I do not want in my life to what I do want in my life. I am not talking about “things” I am talking about a way of living, a state of being.

I chose to walk in peace within myself. To actually live my life now. Not look for someone to blame for my own actions or lack there of.

As I proceeded in my quest for peace in my inner life. Various tools started jumping out at me. For instance, The slight Edge by Jeff Olson, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman, What you think of me is none of my business by T Cole Whittaker, The above video clip, The Serenity Prayer Came to Mind, as well as Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.

The Serenity Prayer :

God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I can not change.
The courage to Change the things I can.
And the Wisdom to know the difference

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Really read what is written there. As for me, I can not change other people’s behavior. I can change my own, behavior, focus, etc. I can choose to live in peace and joy eventhough those around me choose to live in conflict. It doesn’t mean that I condone their behavior, or that I am not going to have to make tough decisions.

It means that I can be free to live my life, not drown in blame and anger, or freeze in overwhelming panic/anxiety attacks.

I choose to live. If you only choose to exist that is your choice, your responsibility… not mine.

My commitment to myself is to live life now. Yesterday is done, tomorrow will never get here. Live now! Appreciate each moment whatever the situation. Experience each sensation, allow myself to feel the emotion of the moment. Appreciate Life!


Happy New Year!

Life is a journey, it is your choice how you make the trip!
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202
Robbins Run Ranch: Living the Dream in Wyoming
Independent Team Beachbody Coach: