Wednesday, December 30, 2009

It's Your life... Live it!

I saw this video clip and it struck a chord with me. A few of the points that jumped out to me ...

Blame and Responsibility are not synonymous

Shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep

You are Responsible for your Life!

What you think about... you bring about...




2009 has been quite the year. Stressful event after stressful event, resulting in an extremely stressful living situation. Compounded by personal attacks, and financial challenges.

Has it been a horrid year. In actuality no it has not. There have been multiple blessings throughout the year as well.

Am I going to enumerate the stressful events and blessings? No I am not. Suffice it to say it has been an “interesting” year in so many ways. I am happy to move on to 2010.

Throughout the process of dealing with this year’s “events” and the situations that led up to said events. A fair amount of frustration and anger blooming into a rage has built itself within my mind and heart. I choose not to live in rage and hate, so I have been trying to “lay it down and move on” … or “forgive” and move on.

Only to find that I’ve picked it back up and clutched it to myself. Compounding the frustration and rage, building it to even higher levels of intensity.

So of course here comes yet another unnecessary interruption. These have become commonplace this year, and a source of some frustration on my part. As anyone that writes knows having your train of thought broken …. Whomp there it is.

Ok where was I? Ah yes, to not carry around frustration and anger. To be able to let it go, and actually let it go. Does this mean that I condone the actions that resulted in the anger and frustration in the first place? One word answer to that, NO!

Inconsiderate people that do not take responsibility for themselves are a source of annoyance to me. Does that mean that I am willing to carry that anger around? Give them power in my life, by changing my focus to their selfish behavior. No, it does not.

So how to deal with it? There is the question. I had been focusing on laying down anger and forgiving. Seriously was not working for me. The more I “focused” on laying down anger and “forgiving” the more I saw the anger and the inconsiderate incidents, outright manipulation, self righteous crap, attacks and so on. Doesn’t sound like I’ve laid down any anger, nor forgiven.

Did you catch the key word? No? Yes? Either way here it is. Ready for it. Yeah ok here it is… ta dah… FOCUS. Yep that it; focus. Focus focus focus focus focus.

What you focus on is what you realize in your life. Rather ironic; in this case I was actually trying to lay anger down, and forgive. Must have at least a bit of a sense of humor about these things.

I had long since stopped saying why; and have been going over how do I do this. How how how how…

As a result I started seeing bits and pieces of how.

Change my focus from laying down what I do not want in my life to what I do want in my life. I am not talking about “things” I am talking about a way of living, a state of being.

I chose to walk in peace within myself. To actually live my life now. Not look for someone to blame for my own actions or lack there of.

As I proceeded in my quest for peace in my inner life. Various tools started jumping out at me. For instance, The slight Edge by Jeff Olson, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman, What you think of me is none of my business by T Cole Whittaker, The above video clip, The Serenity Prayer Came to Mind, as well as Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.

The Serenity Prayer :

God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I can not change.
The courage to Change the things I can.
And the Wisdom to know the difference

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Really read what is written there. As for me, I can not change other people’s behavior. I can change my own, behavior, focus, etc. I can choose to live in peace and joy eventhough those around me choose to live in conflict. It doesn’t mean that I condone their behavior, or that I am not going to have to make tough decisions.

It means that I can be free to live my life, not drown in blame and anger, or freeze in overwhelming panic/anxiety attacks.

I choose to live. If you only choose to exist that is your choice, your responsibility… not mine.

My commitment to myself is to live life now. Yesterday is done, tomorrow will never get here. Live now! Appreciate each moment whatever the situation. Experience each sensation, allow myself to feel the emotion of the moment. Appreciate Life!


Happy New Year!

Life is a journey, it is your choice how you make the trip!
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202
Robbins Run Ranch: Living the Dream in Wyoming
Independent Team Beachbody Coach:

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