Monday, December 23, 2013

This moment there is peace...



Cinnamon burps… meh… (there is a cinnamon capsule in my morning vitamin regime)

Grattitudes:
No wind this morning
Fire in the wood stove…. Glowing beautiful embers
Peace in my heart…

Good morning peeps… the eastern horizon is just showing light… it is around 5 degrees F in my front yard… surprised me that it was that cold… did not feel that cold… I just ran the mastiffs and Pominators out and back in for their morning potty break… in my night shirt and flip flops… then went out and gave water and food to the kitty trio… looks like I am acclimating right along with the critters…

Sitting down with my morning coffee before I blast off for the day…

This transformation… evolution… over this past year has been … what would be the word… or rather words… as there are some pretty descriptive ones from both ends of the scale that could describe parts of it… whew… the word I was thinking this morning however… is enlightening… there have been friends … that have become family… from around the world… that have been major in my evolution and healing… an ongoing process by the way…

Then there have been those… that seemed to be helpful and supportive… when I was broken and lost… only to become angry and resentful as I gained strength evolving into this new version of me… stronger and healing… one surprised me in his antics … the other no she did not… I had hoped she had evolved as well… but alas it seems it is not so… this person seemed to thrive on the waves of pain and desolation I was emitting… As peace and joy started to settle into my soul in the place of pain and desolation… I heard a litany of “it is too soon… it is too soon… “coming out of her mouth as she became more sullen and angry… actually going so far as to suggest in supposed jest that I help her commit suicide… when I confronted her immediately and asked her if she was serious… she quickly recanted becoming even more surly and spiteful… (her suggestion was that I bring a shotgun and shoot her… I said no)

I am sorry if you were feeding off my pain… and the buffet has been restocked with growing peace and healing rather than the bitter flavor of despair… as life’s path seems to be a twisty turning trail I would imagine there will be days of pain ahead as well… but for today… there is peace… and a growing awareness… as I grow in healing and health… exploring this ever changing venue that is life…

Today… I am enjoying… ah… savoring ….the peace that is within me and around me… tomorrow there may be chaos and pain… but for this moment there is the blessing of peace…

I hear the wild birds chirping and singing… love that sound…

Gotta blast off … out of time…
May you walk in peace…


Mary E. Robbins
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