Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I Miss My Mom....



Hello Peeps… supposed to be 33 degrees F outside right now… I will really be glad when this snow melts off and the ground dries out… just tired of cold and wet… I am sure the critters are too. Breakfast this morning was an asian veggie mix, ham, an egg, and coffee…

It seems that I have let myself become rather dehydrated… I did not realize that makes it more difficult to breathe as well as making one light headed and weak. Water intake is higher today… nearly 60 ounces so far… no not all at once… I have a 20 ounce mug…

Threw some more boxes in the big dumpster and emptied my 2 big trash cans and some smaller ones into it as well… found a booklet/letter my mom had written me years ago…lying in the snow… it fell out of some fouled papers that were in the Quonset… I am glad it did… I brought it in and dried it out… It was so good to read her words… and see the love and care she had put into making it… there are little cut out sayings and pictures all the way through it… breaks my heart that letters like that got ruined in the Quonset… I did not realize they were in there… I thought they were packed in my spare bedroom… but no… so many keepsakes ruined… destroyed… I miss my mom so much… she died in September 2012. I am kinda confused this morning… but I think it was September 6th… I remember David answered the phone in the wee hours of the morning… like 2 or 3 in the morning and it was the nursing home saying she had died.

I miss having coffee with her in the mornings … I even miss her fussing about how I cooked when she was living with us. I miss watching her feed the birds… and her huge gardens as I was growing up… the cookies she sent me when I was at university… the thanksgiving dinners she cooked… and the pies she baked… we did not have much money but she made the holidays so special… Christmas was really special growing up… she would cut out pictures from the newspapers and sale flyers and make decorations for the wall out of them… and make decorations for the Christmas tree…

Our Christmas wasn’t about greed and how much can you buy… it was about loving each other and appreciating whatever we had. I hate what has happened to the holidays… rather than being about caring for each other… they seem to be about material things… so much as been lost… and they don’t even know it…

I found decorations that mom had made… pictures of birds… crocheted around… I am so glad they were not ruined. She loved roses… I remember the first time David and I bought her roses… she was so happy… she cried… she said they were the first roses anyone had ever given her… after that I always got her roses for her birthday and for holidays… not Easter and Christmas though… Easter was Easter lilies and Christmas was Christmas Cactus or Poinsettias… usually Poinsettias… we both love them… Memorial day when I was a little girl… was bearded iris gathered out of the gardens …

This was before grandma passed… we would take a picnic out to the cemetery and spend most of the day… they would visit and I used to walk all over the place looking at and smelling the flowers… there used to be great lilac hedges there too…

I have an appointment at 1 so I suppose I’d better get moving… need to eat something before I go and clean up… was out in the Quonset sweeping up a bit too… as well as cleaning out my kitty condos… scrubbed one down… need to scrub the other one too… emptied both litter boxes and refilled them…

I gave a bunch of her clothes away… and it was like ripping my heart out and putting it on the truck… I found her wedding album in the Quonset… I did not know it was out there either… it was damaged but I can still see the pictures… she and dad looked so happy… so young…


Mary E. Robbins
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