Good morning peeps… I am making the choice to give thanks for the day… thanks for the water… in that my pump is working… and the water is not toxic…thanks for the roof over my head … thanks for the bed to rest in… thanks for company both four footed and two.. both near and far… may all of us… have calm in our minds and peace in our hearts… may each of us not only exist… but live this day…
I am thankful that yesterday is past. Frankly yesterday was a storm of a day. Not in the glorious watch the majesty of those clouds storm of a day… although we did have a thunderstorm full of wind and rain as well.
The storm I am referring to is the type of storm that can rage within each of us. The night before I had hit a wall. This body was just done and it stopped…. Still alive but no more walking, no more talking, no more being awake… it just stopped… done… whatever was left to be done for the day was left undone…. Unfortunately one of the things left undone for the day was bringing the cockatiels inside… so they spent the night outside… fortunately for them it was only a foggy night not driving rain or wind. Yes they seem ok… terrorized for the night since the Pominators were inside … that means the ranch cats prowl the yard… yes the yard their cage was sitting in…
After this body crashed… it woke around 2:30 A.M. with a searing headache… confused… head totally congested… in the midst of a storm of anxiety… no I did not realize at 2:30 that the birds were still outside… I did not realize that until around 7:00 or so… meanwhile they were sitting in a wet dense fog…
The combination of headache… confusion… anxiety… left me relatively useless for the day. I would try to get things started… and would break out into an exhausted sweat… aaaarrrggghhhh… ok… annoying sweating I can deal with… not being able to get my breath and that pressure and pain in my chest… I can seriously do without. Yes I know it sounds like a heart attack…. It can be … can be… yeah ok… it is … impossible to tell the difference. I am not calling the ambulance or going to the emergency room every time this happens… I would be in there several times a week. This time it was anxiety… or if it was the heart… then it simply was not my time to go. I am very tired today… and my chest aches… but I am breathing… and I can walk… yesterday I was running into things and dropping things… grrrrrr…
Grip seems to be ok today…as I have not dropped my coffee mug this morning… yay! Now you know that would be a crisis…hehehehe…. I did not write this for a feel sorry for me thing… it just is what it is… I wrote it because I know there are others out there going through … shall we say challenges… just breathe… take another step… allow yourself to be…
May your mind be filled with calm… and your heart with peace… no matter what is going on around you… or in the body that your are living in…
Mary E. Robbins
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