Moving kinda slow this morning… worked without the compression pants on yesterday…. They do make a difference… legs got their swell on by last night… I am trying to condition my body to be able to go without those pants… not sure whether I can make this happen or not… but I am going to give it a go… today though… I am wearing them… pain in my legs reduced quite a bit when I put them on…
Chilly morning… funny how dampness in the air makes it seem so much colder… was good for the tomatoes I set out yesterday though… got nearly a quarter inch of rain… the nastiness went around me… no hail or tornadoes here… quite a bit of hail around this area though…
Picked up some more plants for the garden yesterday… some bell peppers… some hot peppers… cabbage… kale… celery… decided to use wooden snow fence as trellis for the tomatoes, raspberries, cucumbers and such… will help to baffle the winds as well.
My friend fixed the DR brush mower for me yesterday… and I mowed a good bit of the central yard… and cut some paths through the upper yard. The grass growth is over knee high in this hollow now… seems a shame to be cutting it rather than grazing it off… maybe next year. Been thinking about a couple of goats or so… haven’t made my mind up yet and not getting in a hurry about it…. Wouldn’t mind making a bit of butter and cheese either for that matter… could raise a calf on one as well… aw well one thing at a time… more than I can handle this season… I’ll just keep working along and sort it out as I go…
Be easier physically to handle more with less fat hanging on my body… and I am working along those lines… building more muscle endurance too… and have the pain and aches to prove it too… but that is just the way it goes… still feels better than sitting around not able to move.
This physical work is good for me… it is beating the daylights out of me but is good for me too… as I was out digging in the dirt stirring in some compost/manure for the tomatoes … I realized something… that heaviness was gone out of my mind and chest… while I was out there digging… I realized that for the first time that I could remember since David died… I actually had a bit of happiness… I was actually happy… not manic… not panic… not grief… not triggered… just a ray of sunshine… that is what it felt like to me… like warm sunshine in my chest… about makes me cry to write about it… how silly is that…
Truthfully I had forgotten how it felt… did not really realize what it was for a bit… so even though I physically feel like I’ve been through a meat grinder… I am heading back out to the garden… and digging some more… oh… there’s a few more leaves on the plum trees… seems so funny calling them trees when at this point they are just little sticks… saw a bit of growth in the strawberry patch as well… not seeing anything with the raspberries or mulberries yet… onions are coming up though…
Heard the rooster pheasant calling this morning… and the wild birds are singing a chorus in the trees… thinking I’ll put my stock yard boots on… and head out… see how the young ducks and geese fared through last night’s rain and thunder… I watched that storm roll on by to the north of me… very dark clouds and lots and lots of lightening… clouds were rolling about themselves… twisting…
Looks like the sun is coming out… time to go dig…
Later taters…
forgot my gratitudes... a bit of happiness... no hail in my yard... hot coffee..
Mary E. Robbins
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