I like the message on this pic... seems a
little harsh... but I still like it... reminds me I have choice... the
way I've been swinging it's good to know I still have choice through
these swings...
Good Morning Peeps… the sun is shining… the sun is shining… there is snow on the ground… but the sun is shining… beautiful blue skies above… the dryer is running with some bib overalls in there and my husband’s jeans… click click click goes the metal clasps on the bib overalls … spinning around in the dryer… there is another load in the washer…
Met a goal yesterday… to be able to get into a size 40 waist pair of bib overalls… I did not think I had a chance of getting into them… but I tried anyway … and much to my delight and surprise… I slid right into them… hehehe… yes with the fly closed… and I buttoned up the sides and clipped the shoulder straps.
When we made this goal… I could not get them past mid thigh. I have been wearing the ones that I wore at my heaviest… hey there are shoulder straps that keep them from falling off…lol… they are a size 52 waist… and used to be rather snug on me… now they are like wearing a big loose bag… hehehehe…
Next clothing goal… a pair of my husband’s jeans… June 8th is the goal date for this one… they are 38 waist… and a lot smaller in the leg… than bib overalls… I’d forgotten about the goal shirts… tried 2 on… the next smaller and the smaller one after that… and I could wear both of them… then I tried on a shirt of my husband’s that would not close over my bust line… and voila! It fit easily… I had to go and try another one… yup … I can wear them… then I headed upstairs to a closet that had too small clothes in it… clothing I could wear when I got married… guess what I can wear… lol… yeah baby… well they will fit for a little while… then I’ll decide what I am going to do with them… the fabrics I like I will probably keep and rip apart and remake into something else… the rest will be donated or sold.
I went up there looking for a pair of black jeans I used to wear… well they are not there… maybe they are in the Quonset… don’t know… I donated a lot of stuff… and tossed a lot of stuff… I did find a wealth of jeans I’ve kept over the years… eventually I may start making jackets or quilting with them…. In the meantime I will make use of whatever I need as this fat comes off…
Then I am going to go celebrate by doing the indoor skydiving thing… after I’ve done that I’ll decide whether I am going to do the bit out of the plane or not… that triggered another memory…
Before David died he and I went to check out what it would take for flying lessons… the trainer basically told me I was too fat for his little plane… when I told him I was taking the weight off he gave me a look that said… well … I’ll moderate it… and say “yeah right… sure you are” …
Well guess who is taking the fat off… and guess who will not be getting paid for flying lessons… as to what I actually think about his attitude… well I don’t think I’ll write that down…. Well not all of it… but the end of the phrase would be… and your little plane too…
The other day a person told me they had tested positive for HIV 20 years ago… and at the time it had been a death sentence… I am not sure what reaction they were thinking they were going to get… but what did happen is the faces of my friends that have crossed over from aids over the years danced through my mind… along with the friend that has been living with full blown aids for over 20 years…
Hmmm … a death sentence… I thought about that as I remembered the choice I had just made to not undergo the rabies vaccine protocols… I remembered the look on the doctor’s face when he told me in 2003 that I had west nile virus and should be hospitalized immediately… I asked him what they could actually do about it… when he said monitor it… I said I am going home… I remembered the conversation with the doctor before they set up the surgery to remove my ovaries and uterus… since all were so enlarged she said the odds were they were full of cancer… and as huge and as fast as this was growing if they were cancerous that is was throughout my abdominal cavity … if I did not have the surgery… I was done… if I had the surgery and it was cancerous in there… I was still done… I just realized… I never told David what the doc had said… I just went and had the surgery… bloody long surgery… it was a mess in there… they sent samples to two different labs… they couldn’t believe it was not cancerous…
I had been using some alternative treatments… trying to counter what was going on in there… ugh… perhaps that’s why it came back negative… I will never know for sure… what I do know is that the growths were taking so much of my blood supply that I only had a week or two left in this life without the surgery…
Why she told me that… I don’t really know… maybe to see if I would accept her anyway… I don’t know… why would that matter… my immediate response was… yeah… and…
When we are born into this life… we have a death sentence hanging over us… all of us… sooner or later are going to die…or rather these bodies are going to die… to the best of my knowledge anyway… I really do not know anyone that has gotten out of this life physically alive… all creatures born into this life die… some are only here for a very short time… some longer… in the overall scheme of things our life spans are but a moment if that… it just is what it is…
On the flip side… not all creatures born into this life really live… that part… that is a choice… and that choice is up to each of us…
I wish I had said that to her… but that moment is past and if it was to have been said then I suppose it would have been… I don’t know… it seems those answers are a bit above my pay grade … so to speak…
I am popping off here to do Oxycise and tai-cheng… there is another load in the dryer… the mastiffs are outside… Mow Mow Tat is stretched out on her shelf… the cockatiels… are doing their thing… chattering away… looks like I need to add another log to the fire… all in all life is….
May you walk in peace…
Good Morning Peeps… the sun is shining… the sun is shining… there is snow on the ground… but the sun is shining… beautiful blue skies above… the dryer is running with some bib overalls in there and my husband’s jeans… click click click goes the metal clasps on the bib overalls … spinning around in the dryer… there is another load in the washer…
Met a goal yesterday… to be able to get into a size 40 waist pair of bib overalls… I did not think I had a chance of getting into them… but I tried anyway … and much to my delight and surprise… I slid right into them… hehehe… yes with the fly closed… and I buttoned up the sides and clipped the shoulder straps.
When we made this goal… I could not get them past mid thigh. I have been wearing the ones that I wore at my heaviest… hey there are shoulder straps that keep them from falling off…lol… they are a size 52 waist… and used to be rather snug on me… now they are like wearing a big loose bag… hehehehe…
Next clothing goal… a pair of my husband’s jeans… June 8th is the goal date for this one… they are 38 waist… and a lot smaller in the leg… than bib overalls… I’d forgotten about the goal shirts… tried 2 on… the next smaller and the smaller one after that… and I could wear both of them… then I tried on a shirt of my husband’s that would not close over my bust line… and voila! It fit easily… I had to go and try another one… yup … I can wear them… then I headed upstairs to a closet that had too small clothes in it… clothing I could wear when I got married… guess what I can wear… lol… yeah baby… well they will fit for a little while… then I’ll decide what I am going to do with them… the fabrics I like I will probably keep and rip apart and remake into something else… the rest will be donated or sold.
I went up there looking for a pair of black jeans I used to wear… well they are not there… maybe they are in the Quonset… don’t know… I donated a lot of stuff… and tossed a lot of stuff… I did find a wealth of jeans I’ve kept over the years… eventually I may start making jackets or quilting with them…. In the meantime I will make use of whatever I need as this fat comes off…
Then I am going to go celebrate by doing the indoor skydiving thing… after I’ve done that I’ll decide whether I am going to do the bit out of the plane or not… that triggered another memory…
Before David died he and I went to check out what it would take for flying lessons… the trainer basically told me I was too fat for his little plane… when I told him I was taking the weight off he gave me a look that said… well … I’ll moderate it… and say “yeah right… sure you are” …
Well guess who is taking the fat off… and guess who will not be getting paid for flying lessons… as to what I actually think about his attitude… well I don’t think I’ll write that down…. Well not all of it… but the end of the phrase would be… and your little plane too…
The other day a person told me they had tested positive for HIV 20 years ago… and at the time it had been a death sentence… I am not sure what reaction they were thinking they were going to get… but what did happen is the faces of my friends that have crossed over from aids over the years danced through my mind… along with the friend that has been living with full blown aids for over 20 years…
Hmmm … a death sentence… I thought about that as I remembered the choice I had just made to not undergo the rabies vaccine protocols… I remembered the look on the doctor’s face when he told me in 2003 that I had west nile virus and should be hospitalized immediately… I asked him what they could actually do about it… when he said monitor it… I said I am going home… I remembered the conversation with the doctor before they set up the surgery to remove my ovaries and uterus… since all were so enlarged she said the odds were they were full of cancer… and as huge and as fast as this was growing if they were cancerous that is was throughout my abdominal cavity … if I did not have the surgery… I was done… if I had the surgery and it was cancerous in there… I was still done… I just realized… I never told David what the doc had said… I just went and had the surgery… bloody long surgery… it was a mess in there… they sent samples to two different labs… they couldn’t believe it was not cancerous…
I had been using some alternative treatments… trying to counter what was going on in there… ugh… perhaps that’s why it came back negative… I will never know for sure… what I do know is that the growths were taking so much of my blood supply that I only had a week or two left in this life without the surgery…
Why she told me that… I don’t really know… maybe to see if I would accept her anyway… I don’t know… why would that matter… my immediate response was… yeah… and…
When we are born into this life… we have a death sentence hanging over us… all of us… sooner or later are going to die…or rather these bodies are going to die… to the best of my knowledge anyway… I really do not know anyone that has gotten out of this life physically alive… all creatures born into this life die… some are only here for a very short time… some longer… in the overall scheme of things our life spans are but a moment if that… it just is what it is…
On the flip side… not all creatures born into this life really live… that part… that is a choice… and that choice is up to each of us…
I wish I had said that to her… but that moment is past and if it was to have been said then I suppose it would have been… I don’t know… it seems those answers are a bit above my pay grade … so to speak…
I am popping off here to do Oxycise and tai-cheng… there is another load in the dryer… the mastiffs are outside… Mow Mow Tat is stretched out on her shelf… the cockatiels… are doing their thing… chattering away… looks like I need to add another log to the fire… all in all life is….
May you walk in peace…
Mary E. Robbins
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