Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Good Morning Peep! Memories and Emotions...



Good morning Peeps! No wind and 20 degrees F here this morning… according to the thermometer in my front yard. I am sooooooooo looking forward to being able to say … Good morning peeps… no wind and 60 degrees F in my front yard at the crack of dawn… lol…

So much for reading last night… I got my book… curled up in my chair … tv off and stated to read… I don’t think I made it 20 minutes before I was asleep… I woke up… I’m not sure if it was the Pominators or Sara that woke me. Put some more wood in the stove… covered the cockatiels and headed to bed with the intention of reading a bit in bed… that didn’t happen either. I was out before I got through my prayers. Woke up just before 3 with the light on the night stand still on … turned it off and tried for a bit more sleep… the dogs chased me out around 6 this morning… only because I said no earlier…

The mastiffs have been run out and back in… same for the Pominators… having a mug of tea and honey… and I think I’ll have another go at reading a bit before starting on with the day. This is not a boring book… It’s one I want to read.

High emotional states seem to exhaust me pretty quickly. I had recorded the red carpet and the Oscars to watch and was watching yesterday… skipping over the commercials. I love looking at the dresses the designers come up with. Then on to the Oscars. Wowzers… were there triggers in there. When Adele sang Skyfall I sat there bawling through it… amazing performance. Then when they got to the in memory section. So many have gone on ahead… I bawled my way through that; as well… tear up just writing about it. So many wonderful memories…

I would seem that I am now an emotionally expressive person. Neither David nor I used to be that way. Then he had a stroke in 2001. After that … the emotions came bubbling to the surface. I would be checking to see if he was ok… what I could do to help. My husband was hurting and I wanted to fix it for him…. Make it better… spare him any pain… physical … spiritual…. And/or emotional... Before we both felt emotions… we just didn’t cry at the drop of a memory… stiff upper lip and all that.

The night before last I saw David in a dream… he was wearing a pair of bib overalls that I had hand embroidered an engine across the top front… I remember I stitched the pockets closed once and had to pick out all those stitches and re do them to get the way I had envisioned it. He loved wearing those bibs because I had worked on them for him. He wore them in our engagement pictures … No I did not ask him too. In the dream… I saw him he was standing behind a plate glass window at Wal-Mart looking at me and I was walking across the parking lot to him. Then the Pominators woke me up howling to go outside… before I got to him.

Last night it was my Uncle Clarence… he crossed over several years ago… we were checking out this place… broken doors… torn up walls… supposedly dangerous with wolves or something… turned out it was dogs…. They growled to start with but were friendly when they found out I was friendly and gave them water… part of them looked like they were from our kennels from over the years. Then the dream shifted and it was a prefab or a trailer house with a wood stove in the corner of a great-room. This place was surrounded by evergreen forest and range-land…and the park services were looking for someone to live there and keep an eye on the forest and such for fires … I was asking him if he could put a word in for me… then he said this place was actually by Bridgeport NE … the strangeness of dreams.

In any event… it was good to see both of them.

The book I am trying to read… scratch that… the book I am reading is called Proof of Heaven: A neurosurgeon’s journey into the Afterlife by Eben Alexander, M.D. The grief counselor from hospice brought it by. I am interested to read this man’s story.

This time around I am going to set a timer.. in case I drift back to sleep… this body seems to need an inordinate amount of sleep these days. Fix a cup of coffee and a bite to eat and read for a while… much to do later today.

May you have a wonderful day…


Life is a journey... one breath ... one step at a time...
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202
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Robbins Run Ranch
 

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