Brrrrrrr: October 11th, 2008

Cold rain now, just a miserable drizzle. It is supposed to change into freezing rain then snow. Possibly 1 to 5 inches of snow. Just brr. Frankly I hope we don’t get the snow this time around.

This coming week is supposed to be warmer. In the 60’s. I need to spray the dog runs down again and rake up the mess. Then put bedding in the houses and front of the dog runs.

David had a low blood sugar episode early this morning. I am glad I was here to catch it. I gave him a short can of coke. That usually brings his sugar up; that cold sweat thing means he is pretty far into it. I am glad he woke up. I worry that he just won’t wake up sometime. I’ll sure miss him if that happens.

We postponed the next wave of dogs to go to the staging area. That gives me a bit more time to work through who is going and who is not. I have reduced my kennel down quite a bit. Much more and I am going to lose my various blood lines. Working on the rest of the rescues that came in here. Move more of those out to their new homes. Nice dry warm homes. Rather than cold drizzle. Yes they have dog houses, but it can still be pretty cold when the initial weather changes come on.

David is out of lunches for work so it’s time to cook up some menus so he can take meals with him for the trip to the mines and back. I am not thinking very clearly but I need to figure something out.

Roast beef and veggies
roast pork and veggies
jalapeño sausage w/red beans and rice
stroganoff w/hamburger
Mac-n-cheese w/veggies & hamburger
Lasagna –skillet
polish sausage and cornbread
hamburger steak
biscuits and gravy
beef & bean enchilada layer bake

That’s all I can think of for now. 10 different entrees will work out to 40 meals. Now to get started.

Mom and I tried to work out some more on the dogs. I have been trying to include her in the placement process. I am not sure if that is making it harder or easier for her. She called crying this morning. I did a fair amount of that myself yesterday. It is difficult to let go of the dogs that are going out. But it is better for the dogs. Truthfully if I had some help to work with the dogs it wouldn’t be necessary to place any more.

Change that it wouldn’t be necessary to place any more through the rescues. As difficult as this process has been I am extremely thankful for the help from the rescues. They have been invaluable in this process.

Sorting through them has been quite the job. The initial rescue I have been working with has been handling that process. She is pretty thorough in her research. Thank God! People in rescue run the full gamut from really great to just flat scary. Same as with dog breeders, or any other segment of society.

The septic system is installed at my cousin’s place. The main contractor got in there and wrapped it up pretty quickly. I was very happy to hear that the job was finished. Why my cousin had to play childish communication games is beyond me. Always some nonsense to try and get people to run after her. Then to call my mother and try to create more havoc between my mother and myself and my 93 year old aunt is just way past the limit. Childish pathetic, spiteful, ungrateful hateful, nonsense; that about covers that. No thank-you for stepping up and getting the contractor hired and the job completed. No not from her. Just hateful troublemaking as usual. I will give her this, she at least had enough courtesy to call our aunt and thank her for footing the bill for her septic system.

Makes me sad that such a simple situation was turned into a nightmare by someone that should have just said thank-you.

Nothing I can do about that though. Would have been nice if we could have worked together. Or have been friends, but that just seems impossible. It’s like walking on egg shells with this 50 plus year old woman. You never know when she is going to go sulking off rather than discussing things or following through. Always the whisper, whisper, sneak with her. I don’t know why I expected anything else from her; as long as I can remember she has been this way with me.

From the time I was a child on to now. Unreal nonsense. One of the major things that sticks out in my mind was the bawling temper tantrum she threw at my wedding. Simply because she was asked to wait until the photographer took the main wedding photos; to take her photos, so the flash wouldn’t interfere with his flash, and ruin the photos. She is decent with a camera, would have been great if she had stepped up to help him. But no, she had to have a bawling temper tantrum and run out of the wedding.

Always some temper tantrum or some side dig. Frankly it’s exhausting dealing with her. I am not doing a very good job of just laying it down and moving on. Not at this point.

All of the mess with the septic system, sorting through my mom’s dogs, and placing so many has made my emotions a raw jumble. Doesn’t take much to make them spaz out of control.

Yesterday was a prime example of that. Discuss dogs, and then bawl. Discuss dogs, and then bawl. I got off the phone before I was overwhelmed with emotions. But they were just under the surface, erupting all over the place over and over all bloody day.

Today is an overwhelming sense of sadness and exhaustion. Topped of by a good dose of fear after the episode with David this morning. Really reinforced the issue of having the kennels small enough for me to handle on my own. So far we have been catching the sugar lows, before he goes into a coma. I’ve gotta get myself in check, the last thing he needs when he wakes up is some hysterical female coming unglued.

The irony is that he doesn’t remember what happens when his sugar really drops. So he has no idea why I am so frazzled. When I can’t get my emotions back in check. I stay pretty calm when he is in crisis and just do what ever needs to be done. It’s afterwards that I go bat sh*t nuts.

AAAAARRRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At the top of my lungs!

It’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t remember what it’s like when his sugar drops. Makes it easier for him to live his life.

Good grief it is already 3:13 p.m. Get your butt up and go out to the freezer and get supplies and start cooking before there are no meals ready when he is called to work. Just deal with it. MOVE NOW!

Life is a journey…some days are frazzling.
Mary E. Robbins

Robbins Run Ranch

307.788.0202