Goodmorning... keeping track... life choices...

Good Morning good morning good morning... Today is Saturday... It actually is... a good morning... had my trusty breakfast... special k yogurt almond cereal with milk, (by the way... that was a 1 cup measuring cup of cereal and 3/4 c. of milk... not a box of cereal and a gallon of milk!) and of course my coffee... actually I still had coffee in my house thermos... amazingly enough it was still warm when I poured it... truthfully I think I drink more cold coffee than hot... lol... pour a cup... get on the computer... on the phone... and usually a couple other things at the same time... and voila... cold coffee... must be a cold coffee magic wand... yeah right... couldn't be that it just cools off before I get back to it... lol...

I was reading an article this morning... it was actually about internet marketing... but it applies to just about anything... and I quote

"Begin tracking what you are doing that works... as well as what you are doing that does not work. This will keep you from making the same mistakes over and over, and you can repeat the steps that have worked in the past. As simple as this step seems... most people do not know the reason(s) to their success or failure."

It's true... keeping track makes a difference... journaling... blogging... emailing friends (keep copies of emails if that's how you are keeping track)... whatever works ...

As well as actually tracking progress... seeing what works... you can see what didn't work... because there it is... right in front of you... or what outside influences effected the results... of course our personal results are entirely up to each of us... no matter what outside infulences there may be... keeping track...journaling... whatever you choose to call it... by whatever method used... helps to keep track of what is actually happening... it took a while for my journal to not be a blame fest... blaming anyone and everyone for my own mess... on other hand... feeling guilty every time anything went wrong with anyone I knew... don't you know I should have been able to fix it... not... my journal rants are actually how I discovered I was eating emotionally... rage...guilt... depression... joy... doesn't matter... whatever emotion it is... until we own it... actually own it... as in take responsibility for it... for ourselves ... we are like rudderless boats on the ocean... or a leaf in the wind... drifting here and there... giving others control of us... the kicker is whether we actually admit we are responsible or not... we still are... we are just allowing outside influences to batter us about... using the "it's not my fault" excuse... or the so and so did this or that "excuse" ...

Used to be when something upset me... I would eat my way into oblivion... I did a lot of damage to myself doing that... or rather when I allowed someone's (anyone's) behavior or words to upset me... I went on food snarf auto destruct... blaming whoever or whatever set me off...

Do you know just who was actually responsible for that auto destruct sequence... not the person... place... thing... computer... words ... the list goes on and on... the only person that was actually responsible for that self destructive behavior was... drum roll please... Me. Lil ole me... in all may scarfing sulking ranting glory... That realization was a really bitter pill for me to swallow... I am responsible for myself... I am responsible for my failures... for my successes... for allowing others to manipulate me... still my responsibility... why... because I have (as all of us do) that rare and wonderful gift... curious... it's a pretty nifty gift... phenomenal in it's scope... so what is it... what could it be... Free Will... no not a will that someone leaves when they die... Free Will... the ability to choose... to make our own decisons... you know that's a wonderful gift... the ability to choose... of course as with all wonderful gifts... comes the responsibility that goes with it... hmmmm... you mean we are responsible for our choices... yup... that's it... the big cherry on top of the ice cream sunday... no matter what the circumstances... yup... still responsible for our choices... but but... so and so was really nasty and because they were really nasty... I ate a gallon of chocolate fudge ripple ice cream... you mean even then... no couldn't be... has to be so and so's fault... nope... so and so may have acted like an inconsiderate horse's ass... even a huge ...huge... horse's ass... monster sized... bottom line... we are still responsible for how we react... the decisions we make... or refuse to make... you know a non decision is still a decision... on the extremely bright side... we are not responsible for how "so and so horse's ass" behaves... what he or she says... or doesn't say... how the other person or persons act... is his/her responsiblity...

Here is a head's up... this attitude... that each of us is responsible for our own lives... tends to seriously piss off people that are living their lives in the blame and excuse mode...

This lifestyle... taking responsibility for one's own actions... and realizing that I'm not responsible for other people's actions... does not mean that I don't care about other people... I do... I'm actually more able to celebrate other folk's successes... and to deal with crappy behavior... for what it is... the other person's responsiblity... and be able to love them anyway... eventhough he or she has put on their horses's ass guise... ohhhhhh yeah... I still have my horses's ass guise... still wear it on occasion... lol... I never said I wasn't human...

Life is a journey... celebrate the trip... Mary E. Robbins and the Happy Hairballs...