What am I supposed to do with that... and one year anniv of mom's death...

Morning Peeps... heading out to freshen waters before it heats up... still trying to deal with that 94 year old lungs comment from the doctor... huh... just what am I supposed to do with that... really... Today is the one year anniversary of my Mom's passing... happy trails mom... miss you... had breakfast... gotta get out the door... hairballs need water...

A Rose to Remember By... Mom Loved Roses... 

One of my favorite pics of mom...

Mom in her 80's at my house... miss my mom...

Yes it is...

Mom used to say this to me...

Where she's gone...

Mom loved roses... David and I used to give her boquets of them... the bicolor ones she really loved...



Mary E. Robbins
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Yesterday's quests are done...

Good morning peeps… very glad to be home… and just as glad that yesterday’s quests are done. One of the things on this exam was a breathing test… before using albutrol with a nebulizer and then after… then they compared the differences and determined the “age” of your lungs. According to their test results… yes the results were there immediately… or close to immediately… anyway according to their test results any positive effects of albutrol on my lung function are negligible… and it would seem that I have the lungs of a 94 year old woman.

Ok…. Well I am not sure how this happened… but it stands to reason that if I have her lungs she must have mine… wouldn’t ya think… I do not mind her borrowing them… but I would like them returned in good condition… now to find a lung swap station… so we can get this done… as I would like my lungs back now… while we are at it… I would appreciate my eyes back as well… as I remember them working quite differently than they do now…

Aw well… best to find some humor in it rather than letting it upset me… although I will admit hearing them say that I have the lungs of a 94 year old woman did rattle me a bit. Frankly I could have done without their breathing test as my lungs still hurt… grrrrr… but it is done now…

Tests or no tests… I have decided something… and have chosen to make an official proclamation… such as it is… I am going to live as long as I live… and not a moment less… nor a moment more…

As to what made my lungs this way… oh … I don’t know for sure… life… pollution… repeated bouts of pneumonia and bronchitis… aspirating stomach acid… burned lungs from chemical fumes… damage from smoke inhalation… allergies… pick one or all… as they have all been in the mix… there is some scarring in there… like that’s news… not…

I may have the lungs of a 94 year old woman… but they are still working… as my oxygen levels were at 98 percent yesterday… for those of you that do not know… I have been living in this body for around 53.5 years… give or take a bit…

Lift your mug (coffee mug… a huge black coffee mug in my case) Lift your mug and say three cheers… here’s to breathing yet another day…

Speaking of breathing yet another day… one that is not… yes not breathing… dropped in to visit… or rather let me know he was here this morning… this woman is loopy… or how… you say… my battery powered toothbrush was turned on and running …sitting on it’s shelf in the cupboard… I heard this buzzing and found it there when I came in from putting the last of the house Pominators outside… I picked it up… by the way… no I had not turned it on and left it…

I picked it up… and tried to turn it off… it would not turn off… the on off switch moved just fine… then a thought of David came flitting through my mind and the toothbrush turned off… so you know I just had to try to turn it back on again… thinking that it had possibly shorted out and the batteries just died… nope… batteries are fine… and the toothbrush turns on and works just fine… turns off just fine as well…

It had been a few months since any electrical items had turned back on or off by themselves… guess that is not quite right… they are not turning off and on by themselves… but I was not turning them on and off… neither ws anyone else breathing in this realm…
Good to know they are around… or perhaps a different wording… good to have indicators that I can see and hear in this realm that they are around…

Tomorrow it will be one year since mom crossed over. No more wheelchair… no more pain… she is free of it. I sure miss her… but I would not wish her back in that pain racked body. She is free… her friend followed not too long behind. They were sisters… not blood related… but sisters just the same… now both are free…

So much of my family has moved on across the veil… I know they are ok… and without all the angst and physical pain of this realm…

I miss them… but it seems my journey in this realm is not yet done… so salute the sun… treasure the moon… dance under the stars… breathe the sweet air of the early morn… cherish the moment… and breathe yet another day…

May you walk in peace…

Mary E. Robbins
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The Day After... Naughty Miss Molly

Good morning peeps… the house critters are all outside for a bit… Pete and Blue (cockatiels) love the morning sunshine… I just had breakfast… bit of bacon, couple eggs, and some home fries… and yes I did drown the whole lot in apple cider vinegar…

David used to cringe every time I did that... hehehe… now I am having my coffee … before this busy busy day gets started… well actually it has already started… but I ‘m still taking a moment … missing my hubs this morning... I don't know how he did it... but whenever one of our little furballs got out he could find them... no matter what it was I lost... he could find it... strange how a good memory can still make a person cry...

Gotta change my focus or I will spend the day mourning in tears...

Ok... so what are we thankful for today... one thing... even if you don't feel it... one thing you could be thankful for...

I am thankful that I was able to see that beautiful blue sky with bright white clouds scattered across parts of it... beautiful sunrise...

I was out and about and on my feet too much yesterday… legs are burning today… ah well… guess it will be a fiery day… so to speak. May you walk in peace… 

Yesterday's afternoon adventure....

started around noon:

 
Worried... Molly got out of the yard and I can not find her. She is a very small cream pom... that thinks she is the size of a wolf... when in reality she is about the size of a prairie dog...or smaller... I've taken the jeep around the pasture... driven up and down the roads... called neighbors... drove to neighbor after neighbor... she was frightened out of her senses when she got out of the yard... so I am thinking she just ran blindly or is in some small dark place hiding... she is small enough that she is eagle, hawk, coyote, fox, cougar, bobcat... food... not to mention she will attack any snake she comes across... and yes there are rattlesnakes in those fields... miles and miles and miles of open ranges and crops...

looked for her all afternoon... for miles around... took the jeep through pastures...gravel roads... and so on...

later in the day: around 6 p.m.

 
I walked around the yards calling her... no response... checked the cats' hidey holes... no Molly.... Little Miss Molly no where to be found... then I got in the jeep and went west this time... saw something on the side of the road... it was the young coyote carcass... bawled my face off again... drove farther east looking... listening for farm/ranch dogs barking... all quiet... saw the mare and her foal... stopped at the Huntlely Post office... my box was empty there... forgot I'd picked it up on Saturday...

drove around the houses in huntley... saw a couple of goats... No Molly... started home looking... praying... I stopped at the top of the drive... and honked... honked again and again...

when I come home for the day... I stop at the top of the drive and honk... the house Pominators all line up at the front gate and wiggle... and wag and bark... I honk the jeep's horn intermittently all the way down the drive until I park in front of the gate... the whole kennel barks welcome... wiggles and wags...

I thought maybe... just maybe... it's about the same time I come home when I've been in town... just maybe Molly will be heading for the gate...

I saw this little cream critter heading for the gate... I don't know where she'd been but she was panting and out of breath... my Naughty Miss Molly is Home... I couldn't be angry with her... I snatched her little panting self up and hugged and hugged her all the while her tail was wagging...

I am thinking Little Naughty Miss Molly is glad to be home as well...

Thank you for your prayers...

This is my Naughty Miss Molly... so very glad she is  home and was not eaten by some predator while she was out and about...

description of yesterday's adventures transferred over from my facebook page...

Gotta go...the day is calling...

May you walk in peace..

Mary E. Robbins
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peace ... quiet ... calm ...

I rested a bit last night and it was good. This morning as I was running the Pominators outside… carrying out the cockatiels to enjoy the day… feeding the labs, chickens, and ducks… and of course gathering the gifts of cackleberries this one line kept getting louder… at first I could barely hear it in my mind… I walked up the hill to give Puss-Kat (long haired calico cat) her egg… yes she loves raw eggs…and to feed the rest of the ranch cats… stopped and looked out over the valley to Table Mountain… and the rest of the ridges to the southeast…

A beautiful patchwork of greens… yellows… and golds with the lake shimmering in the midst of it… I heard the rumble of steel on steel as a coal train pulled through the valley… I stood there gave thanks for the day and breathed in the cool clean morning air… As I stood there… my mind grew quieter… and this … thought… for lack of a better word… grew louder… not banging screaming loud… just a calming whisper… over and over as in a loop…

My peace I give unto you… My peace I give unto you… My peace I give unto you… be still and listen…

A quiet silvery thought running through my mind Ad infinitum…. To infinity and beyond…

This world… this realm… is such an amazingly beautiful place… we as a species bring such chaos … cruelty… and destruction to it…

Then you see… or hear about… those rare creatures… yes humans… that walk through chaos… walk through the wars that surround them… in peace…

It’s not about being a doormat or a perpetual victim… it is about allowing peace… accepting peace… choosing peace … within you… even though you may be surrounded by perpetual chaos… hatred… fear… war….

Sounds like such a simple thing… like forgiveness… or not judging… or loving… simple concepts… all a part of peace…

Suppose that is what is meant when it is said to live simply… be still and know…

Simple and easy are not the same thing….

And that is the end of my ramble for this morning… raising my coffee mug in thanks… and heading back outside to finish this morning’s ranch rounds.

May you walk in peace…

Mary E. Robbins
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