One Week in: 2012 on track

One week in and I am happy to say that I am still on track for my one big goal for the year.  I weighed on January 8th 2012, and I lost 2 pounds.  304.5 - 2 = 302.5 pounds.  As of the end of week one I am on track to lose and keep off 100 pounds in 2012.

Truth be told I was rather nervous and wanted to get on the scale before my weigh in date. But, I made a decision with this goal to not weigh more than once a week. This goal is about improving my body's health, not being compulsive on the scale.

In some ways it seem silly to celebrate one week after making this huge goal. Yes to me this is a huge goal. To lose 100 pounds. Looking at that total totally overwhelms my mind. So I look at the goal in parts. Two pounds a week will reach this goal with a few pounds extra by the end of 2012. There are 52 weeks in the year 52 x 2 = 104.  I can get my mind around 2 pounds a week.

Each week I follow through is a victory. Actually each day I follow through is a victory, and  I am celebrating them. Each and every one.

Every ride on the stationary bike, is a victory!  Every bottle of water, is a victory! Every day I use the food journal is a victory! (I am logging my calorie consumption, and calories expended on www.everydayhealth.com in the food journal- love it)

I am logging all forms of exercise, it helps me to see how many calories I am expending. I am logging every bite that goes in my mouth, this helps me to realize just what my body needs. It also helps me to know that I can live my life without crazy restrictions.

It is wonderful to know that I can become a healthier weight without liquid diets, weight loss surgeries, and the rest of the craziness that is endlessly promoted for weight loss.

Back to celebrating my victories, I am celebrating my victory of 2 pounds lost, and consistent workouts and food logging by rewarding myself with a pedicure

Celebrate your victories...

I'll post again next week.

Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202

2012 A New Year: 1 Solid Goal

2012 it amazes me that it is actually year 2012. I remember being terrified of year 2000 when I was a child. I remember thinking... that's the year I turn 40, and for some reason it seemed absolutely horrific. Well 2000 has come and gone, along with all the doomsday sayers for that year, and I am still here.

Of course we have a whole new spate of end of world fear mongers, and fear marketers, focused in on 2012. What do I think about all that? I think I will live until it is no longer my time to be in this life then I will no longer be here, and that is as it should be. I believe the fear mongers are seeking power by terrifying people, and the fear marketers, are using fear to make money. Frankly I believe both actions are disgraceful.

I did not make a list of resolutions for 2012. I set one solid goal. My goal for 2012 is to lose 100 pounds over the course of the year. Perhaps I should rephrase. My goal for 2012 is to be 100 pounds lighter by December 31st, 2012; and to achieve this change in a healthy manner.

I am not trying to lose huge amounts of weight per week, I am not weighing every day, nor am I obsessing over this goal. This time around I know it is achievable.

It would be great to have support in this journey, but with support or without it, I am making the changes to make achieving this goal a reality.

I am not seeking my family's approval of this goal. It would be great to have it, but if they resist my lifestyle changes, then that is up to them. I am continuing on. Yes resistance has already started. In the past I have allowed it to derail my goals and fallen back into old familiar "safe" routines.

Change tends to scare people. It seems to scare the people closest to you the most. I am sorry for their fear and uncertainty; but that is something they are going to have to deal with themselves. I choose to not live this fat unhealthy miserable lifestyle any longer. This is my choice. I am sorry if it scares you but I am continuing on with my quest.

I am hoping that the changes I am making in my lifestyle will encourage my family to make healthy changes as well. I am rather of worried about my husband, but he has to make his own decisions, I can not do it for him. That's been a really tough lesson for me to learn. I have always been one for trying "to fix" everything for those I care about. Taking responsibility for making everything "ok" for everyone. By the way, that does not work. Each of us is responsible for ourselves, it would be great if we could make it "ok" for others but it just does not work that way. What it does do is turn relationships into codependent enabler relationships, and frankly that is not healthy for anyone.

2011 was a year of healing, recuperation, and discovery, for me. My activity level was extremely limited after surgery in January 2011. I have not been that helpless and needy since I was a small child. The surgeon was right, it has taken the full year to recover, and heal my body.

The reduced activity level resulted in loss of muscle mass, I was amazed at how much. However, I am rebuilding in a steady, paced manner.

The major discovery was emotional, psychological, in nature. I discovered what was behind my compulsive binging behavior. As a result the compulsion to binge is gone. That is so wonderful! On the other hand, now I am experiencing on a daily basis, the emotions I was eating, so to speak. Allowing myself to actually experience these emotions has been a challenging process.

There was a phenomenal amount of anger, pain, feelings of betrayal, grief, rage, depression, and so on buried in layers of fat. I was eating my emotions, numbing myself to them. Only to have the dam burst periodically resulting in a massive flood of overwhelming emotions. It is actually quite wonderful to be out of that cycle.

All in all it is a good change. I am no longer binging, nor am I living in the past or the future. I am actually living now, in the moment. Life can be pretty wonderful lived in the moment.

The Serenity Prayer has become a Huge part of my life. It has been instrumental in helping me to get past massive panic attacks, and to accept the reality that I can not control everything. Also that I am not "responsible for" nor "required to control" everything.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It is ok to just be me. I do not have to be who anyone else expects me to be, or demands me to be... It is ok to enjoy the moment... to appreciate the moment... to just live. By the way, it's ok for you to just be you as well. :)

Living life in 2012, one moment at a time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins
307-788-0202

Tells it like it is!

Please excuse the language...but this woman is PISSED...and right on the money!

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming , Co-Chair of Obama's deficit commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared "Social Security" to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.

Here's a response in a letter from PATTY MYERS in Montana ... I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!

**************   

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight..

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).

3 My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud..

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt. To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullshit" on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and health care benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are the "greedy" ones. It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.

*************  
Frankly some politicians need to remember that they work for the people. We are not here to serve them, it is supposed to be the other way around. 

The people... not the million... or billion dollar clients of the lobbyists...   I am not saying to shut down the companies... I am saying DO YOUR BLOODY JOBS! To the people that are supposed to be representing us. 

Disgusted in Wyoming!
Mary E. Robbins

Human Facade

I awoke this morning to find that my human facade had slipped during my time of rest. Blue skin, pale yellow eyes, lovely fangs ... all were showing. Frankly it was a relief to not have that pasty human skin stretched across my true identity.

Alas I am still in this realm, my time in this life is not yet complete. I enjoyed a moment of freedom, chuckled at the thought of how the human population would react if they saw what was actually here. I wonder how many others are stifled behind a human mask.

I stretched allowing my wings a full extension before tucking them tightly against my back. Snapped my tail too and fro, thinking of how I would like to tear this human suit to shreds and fly away.

Blast I tore the arm skin a bit, sliding back into it. Not too bad just a bit of blood and scarring. For being as fragile as it is, this skin is actually remarkable in it's resilience. Oh bother, the face is on crooked. One eyebrow is higher, ah, no that's where I tore it before and it gathered up a bit upon healing.

I am going to have to be more careful of this human skin. It does pretty well when fully on, but tearing out of it during rest times is taking it's toll.

Fangs are tucked away, human teeth in evidence. I've been grinding those down as well. Arrgh, truth be told I would love to use my fangs at times. Hehehehe...

Now for my tail, coil it up and tuck it away, and people wonder how I came to have that rounded bum.

Human facade restored...

Time for some coffee.

*****
Author: Mary E.Robbins
Written November 19, 2011