Ramblings of a Run Amock Mind

Today is the third day of September in the year 2009. So what of it. Absolutely nothing. I am listless and bored today. I visited with a friend a bit, did enjoy that. But there is an overwhelming sense of exhaustion engulfing my body and mind.

Well my body anyway. My mind is rambling over the book I just finished reading. The Odyssey Gene by Kfir Luzzatto. Interesting book, decent read. Decent storyline, frustrating questions. Frustrating because there are no actual answers. Well, no answers other than I have no bloody idea what to do. How do you fix it, the answer is you don’t. You can’t, it will have to fix itself one way or the other, and either and option is likely to be bloody.

The optimum choice would be for people to accept each other’s differences, agree to disagree, and simply live in peace. An active decision to live in peace. Do I actually see that happening? One word would answer that. Sad word that it is. NO.

No, people will continue to kill each other over perceived differences and created beliefs until the end of time, and probably beyond. Wasn’t it a disagreement that led to heaven and hell? A war outside of time. I wonder if people have actually thought about that. If it is a war outside of time that means it’s still going on. A war of the ages and beyond. How do you define a war outside of time? Indefinable.

Sometimes I seriously crave simplicity. Today is one of those days. The allergy attack, compounded by a panic attack I would wager, that my body endured yesterday has left me listless and lethargic. I feel like the energy that normally charges my system has been drained away, leaving a useless dead battery behind.

My mind is taking advantage of my lack of focus and control to skip from topic to topic and ponder varied outcomes. Resulting in even more exhaustion. It’s like a sprightly imp dashing about, digging into varied treasures, and artist colors mixing them randomly to see just what pops out. Zipping this way and that as if it is afraid of being caught and forced to focus on one direction for any amount of time.

What of genetics, of war, of colors, of peace, of planets, of God, of this and of that… spattering it’s pallet of random thoughts like a Jackson Pollock painting. Flitting from this to that with the dexterity of a humming bird and the quickness of nanoseconds.

She is exhausted, the reins are dropped, I’m free, I’m free, I’m free echoes around the interior of my skull. All the expectations of the day tossed in the corner like a pile of dirty laundry, as my mind flits over the stack of books I haven’t touched in months in my office library. They are covered in dust screaming to be perused, if not thoroughly read. Ok on to the next.

Look at the icons scattered across my desk top. Bored, not interested. What is next? The kennel is waiting, 300 liner foot of fencing is waiting to be put up. Ugh, what is next? Thoughts of God, of the possibilities of myriad realities, of life in dream states. What is real and what is actually illusion. Is our real life the reality we believe we live in or is it a dream state that this created reality is unaware of.

Is it better to be unaware? Does awareness lead to enlightenment and freedom, or to bondage and insanity?

Ah the questions of a run amok intellect.

And the race is on to the next random thought… do you suppose thought can travel faster than the speed of light.

I think I’ll have some brandy and see if I can catch the reins flapping wildly in the wind created by my racing mind… perchance to be a bit productive in this reality.

Life is a journey...or is it?
Mary E. Robbins
Robbins Run Ranch