September 26th, 2008 Another Sleepless Night

Another sleepless night. I am truly exhausted. I am however heading out the door to feed and water dogs.

This mess with my mother has been on my mind to the point of robbing me of sleep.

Frankly the whole mess just isn’t worth it. I never heard a thank you for cleaning those dogs up. Definitely no thank you for finding them homes. Oh no I’m the evil bit*ch for doing that.

I don’t know what is true and what isn’t in this regard. Not the evil bit*ch bit, she has made that quite clear. What isn’t clear is just how much she is capable of handling. Every time she has been here she does the totally helpless bit. When I talk to her on the phone she makes out like she has forgotten to eat, or has been staring at the wall all day.

If she is helpless, and incapable of functioning just how is she going to take care of 50 plus dogs. Now that some of them have been placed it’s still around 40 more or less. (Including the 8 she already has over there) Most of which are intact males and females. I looked at her dog runs. They need to be repaired. The fences are breaking down big time. I don’t believe the dogs will stay in them. Some might but not all of them. So no doubt the number of dogs will be increasing.

She either doesn’t give a sh*it or doesn’t understand that I will not be able to help take care of those dogs any more. I am lightening my load so I can manage it. She doesn’t seem to get it that it has been taking everything out of me just to get these dogs fed watered and strawed down. It’s too much. Transferring them to her house just makes more work for everyone. Not to mention a miserable cold flea ridden life for the dogs.

I’ve lost count of the times I was supposed to go and pick her up and couldn’t make it because I was completely wiped out. She either doesn’t get that or doesn’t care. Sadly I am to the point that I can’t tell which.

Life is a journey, sad day in Wyoming
Mary E. Robbins
Robbins Run Ranch