Thursday, September 25, 2008

September 24th, 2008 Wow What a Horrible Conversation

Wow! What a horrible conversation. I tried to actually have a conversation with my mother last night about the rest of the kennel dogs I’ve been taking care of for a year.

Frankly I don’t think it has much to do with the dogs. Maybe I am wrong, but I’ve seen and heard mom act the same way with Uncle Gene. Over and over again.

Mom’s focus now is on hoarding the kennel dogs. I understand that she loves them. I do too. However it’s about doing what’s best for the dogs. Frankly it’s also about her not being physically or financially able to take care of them as well.

I am reducing my kennel numbers down so I can take excellent care of my dogs, not leave them in filthy flea ridden dog pens never handled. I want to be able to enjoy my dogs not have so many that it is impossible to take care of them.

It is inconceivable to me that she would not want them to go into warm caring homes. Makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

Last night during her tirade which I am sure she will deny. She said she would never speak to me again if I placed them. Sad as that is; it would actually be a relief. Seems kind of strange to me to think that never speaking to my mother again, Nor hearing from her nasty mouth again would actually be a relief.

On my part, I want my life. I have had enough of the manipulation, accusations, and so on that comes with dealing with her. It’s exhausting and it is affecting my mental and physical health. I’ve pursued a relationship with her for long enough. I am just tired. No change that exhausted from the abuse.

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