Thursday, August 29, 2013

End of August 2013





End of August…Strong dark coffee…Red Tailed Hawks… Golden Sunflowers… small toad sitting on my living room floor… red cherry tomatoes… yellow and red peppers in a pot… blue sky accented with ever changing patterns of clouds… alfalfa fields covered in tiny purple blooms… corn fields tasseled out… fields of grass golden heads bobbing in the breeze… mailbox on a dusty road… storm clouds on the ridge… lightening strikes… rifle shots in the distance…yellow blooms on cucumber vines… weeds stretching and growing in the summer heat… shelter belt deciduous and evergreen in various shades of green … deer walking into the hollow… prairie dogs chirping… black and white cat stretched out on the back of the couch… ducks sheltering in the shade of the tree… ranch cat climbing the fence… chickens scratching in the dirt… bumble bees black and yellow… cattle grazing on hillsides… calves running and playing… horse and foal… pheasants… meadowlarks … jeep honks at the top of the drive… repeat the sound… Pomeranians running… Mastiffs looking around…wagging… Pomeranians lined up at the front gate… barking and wagging… bright eyes smiling… park the jeep… little yellow house in the hollow… home in this life…

Mary E. Robbins
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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

monster panic attack








 monster panic attack yesterday... body exhausted today... emotions flipping back and forth between numb/exhausted... royally pissed... and sad... riding the roller-coaster... where is the hand brake... seriously... geez...



just sayin... peeps dealing with panic attacks... are not looking for attention... are not looking for sympathy... it just is what it is...

Mary E. Robbins
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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

arise... give thanks for the day





Arise… arise and give thanks for the day… and know…

this was running through my head this morning… take it for what you will…

I was blessed with rest this past night. That sounds strange even to me… considering how much I’ve been stuck in a reclining position. But there is a difference… a true rest has been very rare … for a long time… this morning I woke rested before my alarm clock went off… oh and no I did not wake in a night terror or panic attack… believe me when I say… those are very very far from rest being rested… rather the opposite…

Such an amazingly beautiful sky this morning… the air cool and clean with just a hint of moisture to breathe… clouds scattered across the blue… the morning sun shining through… showing patches of gray and startling white bursting into light… sunlight sweeping across the hillside… lighting up the ridges to the south… a new day has come…

I am out to do ranch rounds… and to savor the morning sun…


Mary E. Robbins
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Monday, August 26, 2013

Autumns coming...






I am up… have had breakfast… well most of it… still drinking my first mug of coffee for the day… the rest consisted of wheat toast butter and raw honey.  This is enough for this morning. Dog laundry in the washer… compression pants on… checking in and checking the weather before I head out to do ranch rounds. I know the waters need to be freshened… Watered my few tomato plants already… and my pot of peppers… there are more cherry tomatoes shining red amongst the green of their leaves… my few cucumbers are vining and blooming… here is hoping that they can set on before the frosts take them.

I’ve seen the golden harbingers of autumn shining amongst the green of the cottonwood trees… shining out their announcements… fall is coming… fall is coming… the golden rod is in bloom along the sides of the roads bobbing their golden manes in the late summer breezes… the corn is standing tall… wearing their crowning tassels… proudly… whispering grow grow grow… time is short … grow grow grow… form our treasures hidden in husks before the freezes come… the beginnings of the harvest dance has begun…

Soon… soon enough… the drops of dew from the morning fogs will have changed their character… from soft shining orbs and a fine warm caressing mist… to beautiful crystalline shards… forming in winter’s breath…  

And yet… today… today is starting with a sunny 67 degrees F…. heating up into the upper 90’s possibly into the 100 degree range…  the cucumber vines are whispering … there is time… yes there is time… come bees… come wasps… there is time… come see our yellow blooms… dance and harvest sweet pollen…. Come come come… let us put on our fruits…

The young fox and coyote are growing … putting on coat… preparing for winter… yet still playing in the summer’s sun… careless young ones… dancing through their first season… hard lessons to learn… as one’s body lies decaying in the heat of the sun… killed by a passing human… hard lesson learned in such a young life… glimpses of their beauty will be rare… as they have learned to hide from human sight… ones sad loss is another’s bounty as flies lay their eggs and their children feast as maggots devouring the young coyote’s corpse…

Nature waste’s nothing… a lesson humans seem to have forgotten… images of land fills… and garbage piled high flashes through my mind… along with hard cement walkways … and the lost souls walking them… so many separated from the very earth they depend upon for their survival… their connection so ignored as to be lost to them completely… some can hear… some can feel… but so many are the walking dead… no wonder zombie stories carry such appeal…

My toast is finished… my mug of coffee nearly dry… and time is rapidly slipping by… she laughs as I try to catch her to hold her still … just for a moment… and loops along her way… tis time for me to head out the door to freshen the waters… feed what needs food… gather the gifts eggs the girls have given… and be off…

May you walk in peace this day… 

Mary E. Robbins
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