Monday, July 19, 2010

Fat tired and bummed... now what do I do

Fat tired and bummed... now what do I do. How do i make things better. I thought I was actually turning things around. but instead of losing weight I've gained 9 lbs since my last entry here. 4 pound gain this past week. Geesh...

I was doing better when I was using the daily food journal. With the calorie count. So I'm going to use it again.

If I continue gaining i will destroy this body. It is already hard to move and breathe. I'm tired all the time.

Gotta go take care of the kennels... the dogs are counting on me for their food water and care. I am just sad... was mad... now sad.

Not binging though... so that is a good thing.

Saw mom this pst week... she looks so very old. Old age can be cruel to these bodies. On a totally selfish note... i am so not ready for her to be old. Pop's the same age... actually about 1 month younger than her. Both will be 83 this yr. July and August respectively. The docs diagnosed Pop with pancreatic cancer. He sounds good... but I always wonder if i will ever hear from him again in this life when he calls. Totally sucks. It seems like we just got to know each other... now his expiration date is coming up fast.

Went to Oregon Trail Days parade with mom and her crew from the adult living facility. I didn't last the whole parade. started getting ill in the heat and left. I was thankful they were there to take care of her. that is such a relief.

I'm not doing so good at even taking care of myself at this point.

It's hard to breathe... I know part of it is my weight... I can not believe I weigh 305 pounds. That 4 pound gain this week really threw me for a loop.

David loves me no matter how fat i am... sometimes i think he prefers me fatter... but the heavier i get the harder it is to breathe. I saw another varicose vein on the inside of my leg yesterday.

Ok... I've got to go ... get up and move... one step at a time... go take care of the kennels. Then call the electrician and get the ceiling fans installed. Then do some paperwork.

You can do this...

Yes you can...

Now move... do it now!

Life is a journey... sometimes it .....
Mary E. Robbins
3077880202

No comments:

'Daily Affirmation' Video