Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~ Mark Twain

Tuesday… it’s weigh in day. 279 lbs. Stayed the same. 20 lbs down total. 10 lbs down for 2010. I’ll weigh again next Tuesday. I won’t measure again until March 23rd. That’s the end of this 4 week session; and the beginning of the next.

I did not get my workout schedule restarted last week. I did get some exercise. Walked a couple of miles, and did ranch rounds. This morning I am getting into the swing of things once again. Kicking it with Turbo Jam.

I did it! I started working out again. It’s amazing to me just how difficult it was to get myself started in again after having to break through that bloody pneumonia. Aw well it’s over now. Hit it with Turbo Jam this morning. YaY! Feels really good to be pushing play again!

This break in training has thrown a monkey wrench in my marathon plans. I’m doing a restart on the walking. I’ll see where I am when it comes down to marathon time. I should at least be able to do a half. Then do the full later this year. I really want to get a marathon walked in my 50th year. I don’t know that I care about the actual race. I just want to be able to do the distance. Although it would be good to be able to prove that I did it. Not that it really matters to anyone but me.

I think I will walk a race. So it is documented. I am doing this for me, however if it comes into question I want to be able to prove that I actually did it. It doesn’t really matter though. Because I’ll know that I did it.

I remember the doubt that was cast on Uncle Gene; about everything… and I mean every bloody thing that he said he did. Then after the man had died the jerks found out that what he had been saying was true. In the meantime their doubt casting and gossiping really affected our relationship. By our, I mean Uncle Gene’s and mine.

Suspicious hateful people were a huge part of the problems we ended up having. Shattered our relationship. Just breaks my heart, we used to be so close when I was a little kid. He was my hero. Then I was a fool and listened to the strife mongers. Unfortunately so did he. Both of us got caught up in their hateful web of suspicions and accusations.

Nasty self loathing Toxic people. Frankly I don’t want them in my life at all. Unfortunately there are times where they are unavoidable. That is when recognizing them for what they are is extremely useful. I would strongly suggest protecting yourself from this type of person. They spread discord wherever they go, in everyone’s life they become involved with.

It’s difficult when they are close relatives. It can be extremely challenging sorting out the truth from their twisted projections. Even more so because there are always partial truths mixed into their toxic tales.

1. One of the biggest things for me was the realization that I do not have to be a part of their toxic pot of crap.

2. The second thing is the realization that you(I) are not responsible for the misery they bring upon themselves. Usually their lives are a bloody mess… a feel sorry for me I’m a “victim” mess. Oh poor me. Gag! It’s almost always a mess of their own making. If you allow it they will make your life a living hell as well.

3. Keep in mind that you are responsible for your state of mind… your life. They are responsible for their state of mind, their life. As much as they will try to make you feel responsible for the mess they’ve made of their life. It is their responsibility. Can you help them, sometimes… don’t expect a thank you. It is more likely to be blame for some imagined slight rather than a thank you when you try to help them. Then again it is a fine line between helping and enabling with this type of person.

4. They can and will suck the joy out of your life if you give them half a chance to do so.

5. Take note of that confused feeling. That “did I imagine that or did it actually happen” feeling. Yes it did happen, no you did not imagine it. Yes it was as nasty as you thought it was. No they are not innocent. Yes you have been used. By the way, no they are not your friend.

If you find yourself involved with toxic people… protect yourself. How? Do some reading, develop some skills. Put Toxic People in the search at amazon.com you will find a whole list of useful books.

A journal helps as well, writing your way through the mess, sorting out what is real and what isn’t; and so on. Just keep them out of it; given half a chance they will do their best to use it against you. Leverage and all that.

Well, I certainly got of topic. Must have been a reason for it. Perhaps just me continuing to work my way through toxic residue.

There have been some strong reminders as of late of the pain and grief created by one toxic soul. This person in particular I am unfortunately related to. I have tried over and over to keep a positive relationship with this person. Yet it always turns into something poisonous.

I am relieved to say I am no longer having contact with this twisted sister. Such a relief. Some imagined slight put her on the attack once again. I am so happy this woman is no longer calling my home. YaY! I probably sound awful; but it is such a relief. If she hadn’t been a relative I would have cut off contact with her years ago.


I should have anyway. But I got it into my head that “blood is thicker than water” and all that. Trying to keep family relationships viable. Phhhttt… it was not a viable relationship. It was an enabler relationship, with me being the enabler. Or rather one of them. Thankfully I am no longer in that position. It took 50 years… lol… but I’m done with it. Can’t say that I didn’t try…lol…

In the past, I’ve always taken responsibility and the initiative to make contact after one of her snits. I will not be doing that this time. I am done. Stick a fork in it baby it’s baked…. Burned in fact. Way past done

That stinky weed is out of my garden of life. For that wonderful gift I am ever so thankful!

A hard lesson learned: You can not help people that refuse to help themselves. If you are carrying them it’s not helping; it’s enabling. That responsibility/guilt you feel over their situation is false. Manufactured by the user. The person you are actually enabling. They are using you; and you are allowing it.

Yes I know… Ouch. Been there done that.

This Prayer has been such a blessing to me. No matter what your belief; the premise rings true.

Serenity Prayer
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The Courage to change the things I can.
The Wisdom to know the difference.

Life is a journey, may your travels be filled with joy and peace.
Mary E. Robbins
Robbins Run Ranch: Pomeranians in Wild Wonderful Wyoming

Independent Beachbody Coach: Helping other’s help themselves.
307.788.0202