Week 4: Getting Stronger: Weight…

Sunday morning came and went. Frankly I had nothing nice to say all day, so I kept my comments to a minimum. No point in spreading the pissed off. And, I was truly pissed off. I doesn't matter that there were logical explanations I was livid all friggen day. Just mad, and my mad spread out over everything I did and thought all day. By evening I was starting to level off a bit.

I woke up before dawn with the wind howling around the house. Picking up sand and blasting it against the windows and walls. My house is a semi berm house so our bedroom windows are just a few inches above the ground. I remember thinking, I hope that's not snow being pelted into that window. It would have been a monstrous blizzard with that wind. Thank God (literally) that it was not snowing, just that miserable wind.

Sunday is my weigh in day so I headed to the pantry, where I keep that torture device called a scale. I got on it and the bloody thing did not budge. Still 300.5 pounds. I friggen lost it. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. My patience and tolerance levels were both pretty low any way. I've been dealing with an infection in my throat, messed up glasses lenses, and sore bloodshot eyes from that friggen wind and all the crap it's stirring up. The weight not budging was the last bloody straw. I was "officially" mad mad mad.

I am still a bit irritable over it. But much calmer. It did take all of yesterday into the night for me to get a handle on it.

Had I been pigging out, or not working out, it would have been, "well you messed up what did you expect". Well, I did not pig out, and I did work out, and I expected the results to show on the scale. Obviously it does not always work that way, immediately that is.

I have been increasing the time duration, and the difficulty of my workouts. Two days, on ranch rounds I lifted heavy. On the one day I maxed out to the point that I could no longer lift, I was moving a heavy horse stall mat. A couple of months ago I would not have been able to move it at all. The other heavy lifting day, the weight I was lifting varied between 40 and 100 pounds.

The resistance on the bikes has been set at 3 for the past 2 weeks. The first day I tried that I had a bugger of a time making a 30 minute set. I kept at it and by the end of 2 weeks I was blasting out a 90 minute set at level 3. Bounced it up to level 4 today, 91 minute ride! Legs were burning and my clothes are soaked but I did it!

Every time I do ranch rounds there's, walking, lifting, and endurance involved. The walking is on a rough uneven grade. Great for building leg muscles, core strength, and upper body as well.

I can feel the increased strength in my body just moving about the house.

The scale will eventually move, the increased strength and endurance is worth the stall on weight loss. I know I am losing fat and building muscle. Muscle weighs more than useless flab (fat) does.

I have an issue with the scale. Obviously! I thought about not saying anything about it, but you know that is a part of this journey as well. On the upside I feel really good about the workouts I've gotten in this past week.

I am continuing on my quest for improved health and greater strength. The fat will come off along the way. Perhaps not exactly as I would have preferred. It would be great to be able to just plug in a formula and see the results I was expecting. However there are a couple of unknowns in the equation; changes in metabolism, and increased muscle.

Both, changes in metabolism and increased muscle mass, are good things.

So here we go...

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins
307.788.0202

Ellipticals and Land Mines

Wow… I didn’t realize I haven’t been on the elliptical for 5 days. No wonder I have been feeling like crap. I feel sooooooo much better when I work out; physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Hehehehe…. I did it… got the 6 kilometers in. Feels good. I would seriously like to get my rear down under 50 inches. Size 6/8 here I come. One day one workout at a time.

I finally got to see all of this week’s Biggest loser. They were working out really hard, counting calories and the whole bit…. And their weight loss is tapering off. They kept saying they couldn’t understand it. Even the trainers said they couldn’t understand it.

Geez people… can’t understand it. You’ve already lost massive amounts of fat very rapidly. You are working out like a hard labor camp and you can’t understand not losing so much weight this week… it’s called muscle folks. You are still losing fat but you are gaining muscle. This is actually a good thing.

I will still take a look at the scale. However my fitness goals are going to be tied to my measurements instead of the scale. Frankly I don’t care what I weigh if I’m in that size 6/8 trim, toned, and buff. I would estimate that by that time I will be in the neighborhood of 150 pounds lighter; but I really don’t know for sure. Size wise I could be much larger than a 6/8 and have lost 150 lbs.

It will take the conditioning to put me in the size I want to be in. There is no point in being slender and being weak and feeling like crud. So, it’s conditioning- conditioning- conditioning…

Actually that’s not totally true. Gotta give the body a good quality fuel as well. So it’s nutrition and conditioning. Lets not forget what put the extra fat on in the first place.

Yeah I know eating way too much.

But why-eating way too much.

Sorting out the emotional, mental, spiritual reasons that the weight was packed on. Ignore those issues and it’s yo-yo weight once again.

It’s a total package. Living healthy mind body and spirit.

Truth be told being over-fat is a symptom of other things going on in our lives. I’m not talking about a pound or two here and there. I am talking about self destructive patterns leading to obesity.

It’s a must. Dealing with the issues hiding in the fat. As the fat comes off the issues come up. Exposed like land mines in a wind swept field. Ready to explode and wreak havoc unless they are defused.

Yes I have some experience with this. Yes sometimes it’s messy. Yes it’s worth it.

As for me personally a nasty one blew up in my face about a month ago. I totally lost control, spun into self destructive binging behavior. I have been working my way through it; dealing with issues that have been plaguing my existence for many-many years. Not a pleasant process digging through that bit of mess to be sure. I can say on the positive side that I am no longer binging uncontrollably.

Maybe by going through this process I can help someone else along their way.

Life is a journey, sometimes there are land-mines in the road.
Mary E. Robbins
Robbins Run Ranch
307.788.0202