Showing posts with label dealing with anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dealing with anxiety. Show all posts
Saturday, September 28, 2013
how to have a good day...
Truth in this... woke up this morning... and the typical panic started... took a breath ... got out of bed and started running the Pominators and Mastiffs outside for their morning potty break... all the while feeling the panic and emotional pain rising inside of me... I stopped and gave thanks for the day... savoring the feel of the sunshine on my face on a brisk autumn day... the panic and emotional pain subsided... I could feel it sinking away... such a blessing...
May you walk in peace...
Mary E. Robbins
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Click... BOOM...
Good morning peeps…
It’s been an “interesting” few days… geez louise … I could seriously do without this. It’s been tip toe through the tulips and flowers on a path I thought was cleared… safe to walk…and skip along… then click… BOOM… an anxiety land mine went off… take another step… click… BOOM … a grief land mine went off… click boom… chest pain… click boom… vision cloud in … click boom … heart racing… click boom…pain everywhere… click boom… click boom… click boom… click boom… aaaarrrrraaaagggghhhhhh!!!!!!!! Like a cartoon character being blown this way and that.
Coping mechanisms seemed to go out the window… and I hoovered everything in sight… snarf snarf snarf… hmmmm what else can I pork out on…. like that is going to help anything…. Well perhaps the large sized clothes manufactures… but that is all…
I actually had a day or two of being almost me…. Then yee haw … here we go again.
Ok another patch to work through… what’s the trigger… recognize it… cope with it… sounds simple enough… be grand if it actually was…
So… what has been happening… anxiety has been building over the past couple of weeks… with some severe spikes.
June is the month my Dad used to come and stay for a few weeks. He would be at his brother’s right now… and would be here mid June until sometime in July. I treasured those times… Pop and I did not get to know each other well until I was an adult…. Then we became very close. I am thankful for those times… sitting in my front yard having a cigar just sharing some time. Pancreatic cancer took him across a couple years ago…
David used to try to get vacation time in June so He and Pop could spend time together. Those two loved each other. I loved to sit and listen to them tell stories to each other… Such different men… but both very good men.
I loved them both… still do… and they loved me…just as I am… none of the conditional crap that so many pile on… it was such a gift…
We did not deliberately tear each other down… either directly or in the guise of a jest. People that do that are so exhausting. Some are very skilled at it… masking their words with kindness or a smiling face.. Oh that was only a joke… when in fact it had cruel intent behind it.
When we disagreed… and there were times we definitely disagreed… we agreed to disagree. There was no condemnation of the other because we did not think exactly like each other.
This past week has been a slog through a toxic marsh of unless you believe and live as I do you are evil and condemned. You are this … you are that… they are this they are that… they are evil… if you defend them you are evil… my way is the only way…
I wonder if they have any idea how hateful and judgmental they actually sound… not only sound but are being… I wonder if they have any idea just how toxic an atmosphere they are surrounding themselves with. It is truly exhausting being around them.
It also triggers back to my childhood. Do as I say or get whipped… be what I say or you are evil… and worthless. Oh you thought you were doing a good job… all you do is run your mouth… you should be seen and not heard… you are just like your Dad’s mom… and everyone called her old Satan… she was evil… you are just like her.
The only actual memory I have of my Grandma Sadie (my Dad’s Mom) was of her down on the floor… I think we were under a table… not sure… playing with a robot with flashing red eyes. I loved it… and I loved her… There was some kind of connection between us even across death. She died when I was very young… not so long after we played with that robot.
I don’t know if she did the things she was accused of or not… I just know that she loved me. She lived a lifestyle that was different than those accusing her…. Walked a different path.
I often wonder… if those that say their way is the only way to be… are so sure of their path… if they are indeed… why is it that those that walk a different path scare them so much. Is their fear blinding them so much that they can not see that their words and actions are dipped in a toxic bath of hatred laced with fear.
I wonder is it their intent to spread hatred and fear… or are they simply pawns babbling their mouths…
Pawns or not… there are times I would seriously like to silence their hateful mouths. Open your mind and learn or be silenced. But it is not my place to judge… nor to carry out judgments. Frankly it is a good thing that it is not my place…. Such a huge responsibility… requiring much more knowledge and perspective than I have.
I actually remember back to a time when I sounded much like those I was speaking of… much earlier in my walk… as I continued on … often times kicking and screaming at the changes and the pains of growth… my view… perspective changed… shifted… age seems to have little to do with it… minds open at different places in this walk of life… and sadly some never do…
May you walk in peace…
Mary E. Robbins
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Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression ~ The Dalai Lama
This post spoke to me, may it bless you as well.
Life is a journey, may you have peace within on your travels
Mary E. Robbins
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression (89)
Life is a journey, may you have peace within on your travels
Mary E. Robbins
![]() |
| The Dalai Lama |
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression (89)
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